


The Art of Seduction

by thilia



Category: Tokio Hotel
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-14
Updated: 2013-01-01
Packaged: 2017-10-31 04:42:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 42,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/339997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thilia/pseuds/thilia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gustav is a slut. He likes it casual, and never gets emotionally involved. He also swore to himself he would never get involved with any of his band mates; a vow he suddenly finds very hard to keep. Add a horny rapper and you've got a recipe for disaster.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Gustav, A Self-Proclaimed Slut

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is a WIP and I haven't completely decided on the main pairing yet - though it will probably be Bushido/Gustav with a side of Gustav/Tom (which might remain unrequited). There will however be explicit smut for all of the other mentioned pairings :)

Gustav was a slut. 

It was an un-debatable fact; one that Gustav had been aware of for quite a while and come to accept. Not many people knew about his very lively sex life (he just didn't look all that promiscuous) and he intended to keep it that way. But personally, he knew that the amount of sex – and sexual partners – he had, was unreal. 

Fans, or even people who had only seen one single interview of Tokio Hotel, automatically assumed that Tom was the one who got around the most. It was his attitude; his nonchalant remarks, and the ever-present smug smirk on his pierced lips that made everyone think he was the slut of the band. That, and the fact that he couldn't seem to stop bringing up his penis in interviews and conversations – a penis which, by the way, wasn't pierced even once, let alone five times, as he'd claimed on many occasions. 

But Tom liked to brag about how good he was in bed and was often very convincing. Gustav couldn't blame people for thinking Tom was a gigolo; for a long time he'd been under the same impression as everyone else, thinking Tom changed girls more often than his underwear. 

Well... he'd been wrong. 

In fact, Tom was rather innocent when it came to sex. He'd had a couple of one-night stands, sure, just like everybody assumed, but he had also had quite a few serious relationships. But while most people probably thought that Gustav was, right after Bill, the most virginal member of Tokio Hotel, Gustav had quickly come to realise that he... well, wasn't. 

Bill was still a virgin, as far as he was aware, and Georg was a serial monogamist who had probably never in his _life_ considered having sex just to get off. And that was fine! He needed an emotional connection with the person he was sleeping with. Tom, on the other hand, scoffed whenever someone brought up love or soul mates, and pretended to only care about his next orgasm. But Gustav had, after being under the same misapprehension than everyone else for a while, come to realise that Tom was just as desperately looking for the love of his life as his brother was. In fact, Bill and Tom were quite similar when it came to sex and love. 

It had been a shock, at first, when Gustav had come to the realisation that he was indeed the most sexually active member of the band, but after thinking about it for a long time, he'd decided that it didn't matter. As long as no one knew about it, who cared that he slept around? He didn't care that he was, for lack of a better word, a slut, so why would anyone else give a damn? Even though he didn't broach the subject in interviews or even among friends and didn't brag about his conquests whenever the opportunity arose, he wasn't ashamed of his sex life. 

His very, very active and diverse sex life. 

Sometimes, Gustav found himself wondering how on earth he had ended up here, and thought back to the beginnings of his sexual stirrings. 

It had all started innocently enough.

At eleven, the thought of sex had first occurred to him. Like any other boy his age, he'd started noticing that his body was changing. He'd started to feel certain urges, and more than once, he'd woken up under sticky bed sheets. Then he'd figured out that touching himself felt really, really good, and he'd started doing it daily, then multiple times a day. Wanking had quickly become one of his favourite activities – he had a very strong sex drive. 

While other boys that age had started noticing the opposite sex, Gustav had soon realised that girls did nothing for him. He could appreciate their beauty and had to admit that boobs were fascinating and felt nice – for he had once felt up a female friend when she'd given him her permission – but in general, girls were all a little too giggly and annoying for his taste. He'd figured that out quite early, and while every other friend of his began chasing after girls, writing love letters and letting said girls boss them around, Gustav had stayed away from them, and instead, found himself watching other boys. 

At first, he'd been rather secretive about it, thinking it was in some way wrong to have these feelings. No one else he knew seemed to be attracted to a person of the same sex, so he had been feeling weird and disconnected from everyone for a while – until he'd found out that he wasn't the only boy in the world who was more attracted to men than women. After coming to that realisation, he'd quickly gotten used to the fact that he was gay, as they called it, and he'd come to accept it. 

At thirteen, he first began fooling around. He'd had his first crush on a friend he'd known for years. The fact that said boy – Cedric – had a girlfriend, didn't bother him. He knew that nothing would ever happen between them and he was okay with that. He hadn't gotten his hopes up in order to avoid disappointment. 

Never in his life had he thought that something actually _would_ happen between them. They had been on Cedric's bed, smoking cigarettes while the boy's parents were out, and Gustav wasn't sure how exactly it had happened, but at some point, his hand had found its way into his friend's boxers, and had soon after been covered with sticky come. 

It became a bit of a regular thing; Cedric never reciprocated but seemed to have no problem letting Gustav get him off. They never talked about it, of course, and at some point, when Gustav started spending more time with his band mates, it had stopped automatically. Even today, they were still friends, but had never discussed those habits.

There had been other boys after that, but it was only years later, at sixteen, that Gustav lost his virginity. The boy had been someone he'd been seeing for a while (sort of secretly), and it had been beyond perfect. Sweaty bodies pressed against each other, heavy breathing, hearts beating fast, slick, flushed skin glistening with sweat, sloppy kisses exchanged between long, drawn-out moans… Gustav had been in heaven. 

Since that first time many years ago, Gustav's repertoire had expanded more than a little. He'd discovered that sex was not only a very obvious way to make himself – and his partner – feel good; it was also an art. Gustav was, admittedly, a fantastic drummer, but the thing he really excelled at, was the art of seduction. It wasn't just the sex he was looking for; it was the chase. 

He loved flirting, and while he'd been really shy in his early years, he'd gotten over that and started walking up to boys in clubs. There had been situations when Gustav had talked to guys who were straight, and he'd had to accept quite a few punches or stupid remarks over the years, but that had never stopped him from continuing on his search for boys who just wanted some fun. Because even though not _every_ boy had accepted his proposals, there had been quite a few he'd ended up fucking, and he remembered every single one of them fondly.

His sexual encounters were, up to this date, usually short and casual. Once or twice, he'd ended up sleeping with the same boy multiple times, but since he was looking for variety, he'd always ended things rather quickly.

It wasn't that Gustav didn't believe in love; he just hadn't experienced it yet. He was sure that sooner or later, he might find that certain someone that would make him feel more than just sexual attraction. He wasn't sure he could ever be in a monogamous relationship for more than a couple of weeks, but if he did meet that special someone, he would definitely try to make it work. 

But he couldn't see himself settling down anytime soon, and planned to fully enjoy his sexual independence for many years to come. 

No one was off limits when Gustav was on the prowl, but there were a few exceptions – such as his band mates, of course. They were his best friends – all three of them – and their relationship was purely professional and platonic. It wasn't that Gustav had never thought about it; the thought of sleeping with Bill, Georg and Tom had occurred to him quite a lot when he'd begun to explore his sexuality. But since he didn't want things to get weird between them, he'd stayed away.

They didn't even know he was gay, let alone someone who slept around. He wasn't sure how they'd react if they found out, or if they could handle it. He knew that sooner or later, the secret would come out – he could only claim that yes, he _did_ go out with girls and no, he hadn't found the right one yet for a certain time before the excuses he constantly had to think of got lame and unbelievable. 

Of course he felt bad for lying – they _were_ his best friends, and probably deserved to know, but so far, he just hadn't found the right way to tell them. He didn't hide the fact that he was shagging random male strangers, and sometimes, he found himself hoping that Bill, Tom or Georg would see him with one of his nightly conquests. But then again… that might not go over very well. 

For now, he preferred to be the quiet drummer no one seemed to notice. And that, by the way, wasn't an act. He didn't _pretend_ to be quiet, and actually _did_ like being in the background while the twins paraded around and ran the show. Sure, when he went out at night, he showed a different side of himself – but during the day, he was perfectly happy being the quiet, unnoticeable drummer of Tokio Hotel.


	2. A Request

"So I've been thinking about sex a lot lately," said Bill as he pushed past Gustav to enter his hotel room, leaving the latter standing by the door, looking more than a little surprised. Stunned, in fact. 

Bill always did know how to make an entrance, but _damn_ , this was the best one so far.

And the most surprising.

While his three band mates might be the closest friends he had, they rarely discussed sex. Not seriously, at least. Of course, Tom's sexual hints and jokes were pretty much constant, but they rarely actually discussed their sexual experiences. In fact, the topic had only come up on a couple of occasions, and on both of them, Bill hadn't even participated. The fact that Bill was now broaching the subject so openly, and clearly had something to say to him about sex made Gustav blink for a moment. 

Curiosity took over, however, and after closing the door, he offered Bill a drink and sat down on the bed. He was silent, letting Bill take the lead, so he could tell him what he'd come to say. 

"I've been thinking a lot about sex lately," Bill repeated. "And I've come to the conclusion that it's time for me to not be a virgin anymore. I'm nineteen; I can't stay a virgin forever, you know? I know what you're gonna say – that I'll wait for the love of my life and that I need my soul mate to be my first, but I'm not sure I even really want that anymore. I'm sick of waiting. What if I never find my soul mate? What if I end up being a forty year old virgin? I'd like to avoid that. So I've been thinking about it a lot; wondering who I want to take my virginity. And I've finally come to a conclusion."

Gustav arched an eyebrow, wondering who Bill could possibly be thinking about. 

Bill looked at him with a smile, swaying a little on those long legs of his – sometimes, he looked like an baby gazelle, still shaky on its legs. He watched those legs in fascination for a moment, wondering what they would feel like wrapped around his waist, and… no. Bill was off limits. 

Off. Limits.

Blinking, he forced his mind back to the situation at hand, and was about to ask Bill to reveal the identity of his Chosen First when Bill continued talking without being prompted.

"You, Gustav. I want you to take my virginity. Don't get me wrong – I've considered other options. Tom would've been my first choice, but of course there's the tiny little problem that he's my brother, and not interested in guys. So I've decided that I want to lose my virginity to you, Gustav."

Gustav opened his mouth, then closed it again. 

He wasn't sure whether to be more concerned about the fact that Bill wanted _him_ , of all people, to be his first, or the fact that _Tom_ had been his _first_ choice. 

Although, to be honest, that thought was more than a little intriguing, and for a moment, Gustav couldn't help imagining Bill's long legs wrapped around _his brother's_ waist as Tom pounded into his little brother's tight ass, and…

No. Now was definitely not the time to go there – but Gustav would keep the idea for later. He was _definitely_ going to think about that a lot the next time he was alone and in need of a good wank.

So he focused on the first part of Bill's request; the fact that he wanted him, Gustav, to take his virginity.

It wasn't as if he'd never considered the option before. All three of his band mates were good-looking, and if he was entirely honest with himself, he'd had more than one wet dream about each one of them. So far, however, he'd never considered the option of actually pursuing those fantasies, and making those secret desires come true. It was just not something he'd ever been seriously interested in doing; mostly because he was worried it would change something between them. Those friendships were more important to him than anything else, and sex would just get in the way. He wasn't ready for that to happen.

The balance in the band would change, or something, and he wasn't going to risk hurting one of them. So he'd stuck to faceless strangers, because it was easier and it avoided all the drama. 

But now Bill was standing here, openly asking him to be his first. 

Was he supposed to say no?!

Gustav just didn't roll that way. If the opportunity for sex arose, Gustav took it. 

He'd always felt hugely protective of Bill; all of them did. He had, since the beginning, been looking out for the younger boy, making sure he didn't get hurt. He wanted Bill to have the perfect, special first time he'd always dreamed about, and he knew that if Bill had sex with someone else, Gustav couldn't control the outcome of it. Bill might end up with a guy who would hurt him, emotionally, or physically because he didn't spend as much time preparing him as he should, and that idea alone made Gustav crack his knuckles threateningly.

But now, Bill was here, asking him to give him that special first time he'd been dreaming about forever. And Gustav was going to give it to him. He could ease Bill into it, make sure he knew what it was all about, so that he knew what he was getting into whenever he did it again with someone else at some point.

Gustav suddenly realised that he still hadn't said anything, and Bill was looking at him expectantly and a little anxiously. He didn't want to torture him, so he licked his lips and tried to formulate a reply.

"Are you sure?" he asked finally, when he'd processed Bill's request, looking up to meet the other boy's eyes. As much as he wanted it, he wasn't going to do anything if Bill showed even the slightest hint of doubt. 

Bill didn't, and instead, nodded immediately. "I'm sure. I've thought about it a lot, like I said before, and I'm completely sure."

He licked his lips, then took a step forward, sitting down on Gustav's lap without preamble and wrapping his arms around him as he straddled him with those long legs of his. "Make love to me, Gusti."

Gustav sucked in a sharp breath when Bill leaned forward and kissed him, and he hesitated for a moment. Maybe he would hurt Bill more than anyone else. Sex was a powerful thing, and when they were done, it was possible that Bill would think he was in love with Gustav. Gustav, however, didn't love Bill that way, and Bill would inevitably get hurt. 

But on the other hand, Gustav was sure that Bill had considered this, and was smart enough not to do this if he did indeed think he could fall in love with Gustav. And there _was_ complete trust between them, so maybe this really _was_ the best option.

After his initial hesitation, Gustav wrapped his arm around Bill's slim body as well, and returned the kiss slowly. He closed his eyes, parting his lips as he deepened the kiss, and moaning when Bill's pierced tongue slid into his mouth. He rubbed the tip of his own tongue over the cool metal of the piercing; a sensation that went straight to his cock, which had been happily bobbing in his boxers since the moment the topic had first come up. 

Yep, he definitely wanted Bill. 

He slid his hands down the other boy's back to his ass, cupping those two perfect little handfuls and squeezing lightly. He closed his eyes and ran his tongue over Bill's bottom lip, rubbing his crack through his pants to give him a vague idea of what was to come. 

That elicited a soft moan from Bill; in Gustav's opinion the most arousing sound that had ever come out of Bill's mouth – and Gustav already thought that Bill had an incredibly sexy voice, so that was saying something. His moan sounded low and erotic, and completely helpless and involuntary at the same time, and Gustav's cock twitched in approval in his entirely too tight pants. 

After letting the kiss go on for several minutes, Gustav drew back, taking a deep breath as he stared into Bill's deep brown eyes. He bit his bottom lip for a moment, then raised a brow. "How do you even know I'm interested?" he asked curiously. "How do you know I'm attracted to you – or men in general?"

Now that he was asking it, he realised that the question had been on his mind since Bill had first uttered his request. He leaned back a little and watched Bill's face closely. 

Bill raised an eyebrow in return and shrugged. "I guess I just thought I'd take that chance. I know you know I'm into boys, so I figured I could just ask and you would say no if you weren't interested. But clearly you are, so… shouldn't you be kissing me rather than discussing this?"

He grinned, and Gustav had to laugh. "Probably, yeah, but I was just… curious. I thought I came off as super-straight."

Bill eyed him. "You do realise that super-straight boys don't use words like 'super-straight', right?"

Gustav paused. "You do have a point there," he admitted, smirking. "But seriously – did you suspect I might be gay before you came in here? It doesn't really matter either way, but I'd still like to know."

Bill shrugged. "I had my suspicions. You go out a lot, claim to have dates with girls, but you never give us any details, so I just figured that either you were ashamed of the girls you were dating – which I didn't _really_ think could be the case – that you had a dirty little secret you didn’t want anyone to know about or… or that you were a vampire," he finished, grinning. 

Gustav laughed. "So you came here at the risk of getting your blood sucked and being left to die in my hotel room? Wow – you're brave!"

Bill giggled. "I know, right?"

Gustav smiled and brushed Bill's hair back, looking at that impossibly beautiful face for a few long moments. He couldn't believe this was actually happening; it still felt like a dream. But he could feel Bill's soft skin and long smooth hair beneath his fingertips, and knew that it was all real. Bill really _was_ here, and wanted to be deflowered. 

He snorted at his old-fashioned choice of word, then shook his head and took a deep breath, leaning in to brush his lips over Bill's again. He closed his eyes and deepened the kiss slowly, smoothing the strands of soft hair between his fingertips. 

The kiss quickly grew in heat and passion, and Gustav came to discover that Bill was an excellent kisser – just like he'd suspected for a long time. He could actually imagine just sitting here and making out with Bill for hours – but that wasn't why Bill had come here. 

He slid his hand down Bill's flat chest, brushing his thumb over one of Bill's nipples, making the younger boy arch into the touch and let out a soft mewl. He trailed his lips over Bill's jaw and neck, licking his earlobe teasingly before nuzzling Bill's neck and nibbling on his collarbone. 

He was about to slide his hand lower to explore the rest of Bill's body, when there was a sudden loud knock on the door, and only seconds later, Georg and Tom burst into the room. Bill was off Gustav's lap faster than he'd been _on_ it, and looked sheepishly at the other boys who had, fortunately, not noticed that Bill and Gustav had been engaged in a heated make out session.

"We're going out," Tom stated in a tone that allowed no protest. He grabbed Gustav's jacket and tossed it at him. "Bill, go get dressed. We'll wait for you downstairs."

Tom and Georg left the room, and Gustav sighed heavily, reaching down to rub his aching erection. He hated it when that happened. 

He looked up at Bill who shrugged, looking defeated. 

"Some other time then?" he asked after a moment of silence. 

Gustav nodded. "I guess it'll have to wait," he agreed, sighing heavily. 

Bill didn't seem to want to move, however, and Gustav rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "I, um… may need a moment here."

Bill looked at him, then his eyes travelled down to where Gustav's sweatpants were slightly tented, and his eyes widened – both in understanding and obvious appreciation. 

"Oh, I see," he said, licking his lips. "I'll see you downstairs in a bit then."

He turned around and was about to leave, but then seemed to change his mind and came back, leaning over to give Gustav a long hard kiss, his hand reaching down to squeeze his erection hard. 

Gustav gasped in surprise, his eyes widening and his hips jerking forward into Bill's hand. 

When Bill drew back, Gustav could feel his hot breath on his face, and stared at him hungrily. 

"That should help you finish faster," Bill whispered, trailing the tip of his tongue over Gustav's bottom lip before smirking, easing his firm grip on Gustav's cock, and finally stepping back. "See you in a minute."

With those words, he bounced – yes, bounced – out of the room, leaving Gustav alone and in desperate need of release.


	3. Halfway There

Bill had been completely right, of course. 

Thinking about Bill's lips pressed against his own, his cock in Bill's firm grip had definitely helped Gustav take care of his little problem in a matter of seconds. It had only taken a couple of practised jerks before he'd come with a surprisingly loud groan. 

He'd needed a minute or two to compose himself, then another couple of minutes to clean himself up and get dressed, but he managed to make it downstairs barely ten minutes after Georg and Tom had unceremoniously burst into his room. Bill followed a couple of minutes later – he obviously needed longer to get ready and pick an outfit for the night; the disadvantage of having so many clothes.

His final choice was a good one, though – he looked positively edible, and Gustav once again cursed Georg and Tom's timing. 

Damn them. If it wasn't for them, he would be _inside_ Bill now, or kissing those pointed little hipbones that Bill's short t-shirt revealed. 

But he would get Bill, eventually. Hopefully sooner rather than later. 

They made their way to a small club Tom had apparently read about in some trashy magazine, and spent most of the night talking and drinking. As the evening progressed and their blood alcohol level rose, Tom and Georg made their way to the dance floor with a couple of girls while Bill and Gustav stayed seated at the table and finished their drinks. 

"So, when do you want to do me?" Bill asked only about a minute after his brother and friend had left, slurring a little as he leaned closer. 

Gustav turned his head and eyed him, smirking. "You're drunk."

"Am not," Bill protested, but grinned back. "So, when?"

"Impatient, are we?"

"Well, yeah," Bill retorted, letting out a heavy sigh. "It's been nineteen freaking years – I want to get laiiiiiid."

Gustav chuckled to himself and took another sip of his beer. "Is that so?"

He thought for a moment. "Well... anytime, Bill. I'm always available for you, so whenever you want to... you can come over and we'll do it. If you're still sure you _want_ to do it, that is."

"Of course I am!" Bill exclaimed loudly, then covered his mouth with both hands and snickered as he looked around – but no one seemed to pay attention to them. In a lower voice, he repeated, "Of course I am. I want you, and I want to do it as soon as possible, so... later tonight? When we get back to the hotel? Yeah?"

Gustav looked into Bill's eyes, wide with excitement, and couldn't help smiling a little. He had a feeling that Bill would be too drunk to do anything later tonight, but he didn't want to burst the other boy's bubble and argue about this. And maybe he was underestimating Bill; maybe he could hold his liquor much better than Gustav thought he could. So he merely nodded. "Sure. You can come to my room, and we'll do it."

"Excellent," Bill sighed, looking relieved. 

Gustav turned back to the dance floor, watching Georg grab a girl's arms, probably to keep her at bay as she seemed to be trying to kiss him. He smirked – something about the desperate and slightly terrified look on Georg's face amused him. Next to him, Tom was already making out with a girl. Gustav frowned as he watched him, his hand tightening around his glass unconsciously. 

Before he could wonder _why_ that didn't sit entirely right with him, he felt a hand on his thigh and looked down at Bill's elegant, manicured fingers. He looked up at his face after a moment and found the younger boy grinning back at him. 

"I want to make out with you again," Bill said in a loud whisper, his eyelashes fluttering a little as he leaned in and looked at Gustav's lips. 

Gustav was tempted, but before he could lean in as well, he pressed his hand against Bill's chest, stopping him. "Down, boy," he said softly, the fondness obvious in his voice. There was just something about Bill and his virginal eagerness, and he couldn't help adoring him.

It was also a huge turn on – but that was beside the point. 

He shook his head and focused. "Are you sure you want to do that right here, in public, when there could be paparazzi lurking around any corner?"

"Fuck, you're right." Bill drew back immediately, looking around, then let out a sigh when he didn't spot any cameras. "I'm sorry, I just like making out with you."

Gustav smiled. "I like making out with you too, Bill. I just don't think we should do this here. Your judgement may be clouded right now – how many drinks have you _had_ exactly?"

Bill looked thoughtful. "A few," he answered, smirking, then whined. "I still want to make out with you, though."

Gustav licked his lips and glanced around. "We could go to the bathroom," he offered, knowing how unromantic that was – but this wasn't _about_ romance anyway. Besides, Bill seemed to like his suggestion.

The younger boy's eyes widened in approval and he nodded enthusiastically. "Yes. Yes, we should!"

He slid out of the booth, stumbling a little, then paused. He put his hands on the table and leaned over it, wiggling his brows. "Follow me in two minutes," he purred, licking his bottom lip. Gustav had to laugh – it sounded as if it was a quote from some movie, and by the excitement in Bill's eyes, he could tell that Bill had wanted to use that line for a while.

He watched Bill trot off, and finished his beer before rising to his feet as well and making his way to the bathroom. 

He'd barely stepped inside when he was pushed against the door and had an armful of Bill and the other boy's tongue in his mouth. He blinked, then closed his eyes and returned the kiss eagerly, cupping Bill's ass with a firm grip. Keeping his eyes closed, he squeezed said ass and slid his tongue into Bill's mouth, raising a brow when Bill lifted a leg, thrusting it into his hand.

Understanding what Bill wanted, he picked him up, wrapping Bill's legs around his waist, never breaking the kiss. He pushed himself off the door and turned around, pressing _Bill_ against the door to hold him up more easily. Positions reversed, he held onto Bill and pressed into him, then found himself grinding against Bill who returned the motion eagerly, causing intense and pleasant friction for their aligned cocks. 

For a moment, Gustav almost felt the urge to laugh; this was kind of surreal. Here he was, actually dry-humping Bill fucking Kaulitz in the shabby bathroom of a cheap club in the middle of nowhere.

God, he loved his life. 

Bill's legs tightened around his waist and Gustav moaned, focusing back on the kiss and moving against the other boy, the heat between them rising steadily. Bill let out the most delicious little whimpers and Gustav wondered if he would hear those sweet noises again when he had Bill naked in his bed later. He continued rubbing against Bill, their tongues sliding against each other, and let out a breathy moan when he felt Bill's hips jerk as he came. 

He followed a moment later, coating his own pants with sticky come as he thrust against Bill twice more, then collapsed against the other boy, trapping Bill between himself and the wall. 

"Fuck me," Bill breathed, giggling breathlessly. 

"Soon," Gustav promised, giving him a grin when he caught his breath. His legs felt like jelly, but he soon recovered and pulled back a little. He still held on to Bill, though, finding their position oddly comfortable. "Fuck, that was–"

"Freaking amazing," Bill finished, grinning goofily.

Gustav could only agree. 

His come was cooling in his pants, which felt a little icky, so Gustav reluctantly set Bill down and took a step back, releasing a breath as he came down from the high of his orgasm. He licked his lips as he stared at Bill who looked positively _debauched_. His hair was messier than usual, his cheeks flushed, his lips red and slightly kiss-swollen… He looked like he'd just been ravaged. 

Which he had been, in a way.

Gustav found himself staring for a long moment; he'd never seen anything this beautiful in his life. 

Bill gave him a lazy grin as he stumbled towards the sinks and opened his pants, wetting a paper towel to clean up the mess in his trousers. Realising that he should probably do the same, Gustav followed. 

There was silence between them now, but it wasn't awkward or uncomfortable. They were both bathing in the aftermath of their orgasms, both of them lost in thought. They left the bathroom several minutes later, and made their way back to the table where Tom and Georg were already waiting, looking impatient. 

"There you are!" Georg exclaimed. 

"What, are you girls now?" Tom asked instead, raising a dark eyebrow. "Can't go to the bathroom on your own anymore?"

Gustav opened his mouth, but Bill was faster. "Yeah, so what?" He grinned at his brother, then wrapped an arm around him. "Are we going home?"

"Yes," Georg replied, pushing his hair behind his shoulders. "That girl over there wouldn't stop molesting me, so I politely tried to make her understand that I have a girlfriend and that I may be allowed to _dance_ with other women, but nothing more, and now she looks pissed off, and I'm afraid she's gonna attack me. So… we should go. Unless you guys want to stay."

He looked at them inquiringly. 

"No," Bill said at once, giving Gustav a saucy look. Gustav raised a brow and knew immediately that Bill was thinking about his bed and what they were going to do in it later. 

Pretty much the same thing _he_ was thinking.

Gustav frankly wasn't sure if he could get his cock to cooperate again tonight, but wasn't going to reject Bill. Even if they just ended up cuddling and falling asleep after making out a little more, it sounded better to him than spending the night alone, or with some random stranger who'd end up not being worth the trouble. 

"All right then... let's go," he said, and followed the others out of the club. 

On the ride back home, he and Bill were relatively silent while Tom and Georg ranted about girls. Gustav only half-listened and instead, found himself looking out of the window and thinking about the events of the night so far. 

Sometime later, the four of them stumbled into, then out of the elevator of their hotel, and tried to find their rooms. When Bill followed Gustav to his door, they got an odd look from Tom, but before he could say something, or ask why on earth Bill wasn't going to his own room, Bill waved him off. 

"I forgot my phone in his room," he lied, but Tom seemed to buy it and fell into his own room a moment later. 

After fumbling with the key-card to his room for a while, Gustav managed to unlock his own door, and stepped aside to let Bill go ahead. He locked up, then followed Bill to the bed where he was immediately pulled into another hard kiss. Bill's eagerness turned him on more than a little, and he couldn't believe the incredible things Bill's tongue did to him. He couldn't help wondering what that mouth would feel like wrapped around his cock, and hoped he was going to find out someday – maybe even tonight.

He lost himself in the kiss, and soon, his body reacted to Bill's ministrations – and his hands. Bill's hands – those long, slim-fingered hands that seemed to be everywhere at once. He felt them slide under his t-shirt, stroking his skin, gripping, scratching, holding onto him one moment, then rubbing lightly the next. 

Gustav couldn't wait for them to be back on another part of his body – which twitched excitedly at the prospect.

His own hands travelled down Bill's chest and stomach, tugging at his t-shirt and pulling it off. His hands moved over the expanse of smooth skin all over Bill's body, tracing the younger boy's tattoos with calloused fingers. 

They made out for a good long while before the large amount of booze he'd drunk that night made its presence known, and Gustav had to excuse himself to go to the bathroom. Bill whined in protest, but after getting another hard kiss from Gustav, he seemed reassured that Gustav was going to come back. 

Bill's kisses and his firm grip on his cock from earlier still on his mind, he disappeared for a moment, eager to get back to the bed, and Bill.

When he came back out and looked to where Bill had been sitting and waiting for him only a few seconds earlier, he sighed heavily because Bill wasn't there anymore. He wasn't entirely surprised to find Bill sprawled out on his bed, fast asleep, no, but he couldn't deny that he – and even more, his cock – was a little disappointed. 

Bill had wiggled out of his tight leather pants and now lay there, clad only in boxers, his lashes fluttering against his cheeks as he snored softly.

Gustav looked down at his cock and wondered if it could take another wank tonight – he was sure that if he tried, he would probably chafe himself. Not wanting to risk that, he left the hotel room briefly to fill a cup with ice cubes from the machine in the corridor. 

When he came back, he poured the ice into his boxers. 

He let out a squeak at the first contact of the ice with his heated skin, but it had the wanted effect, and his cock went down. 

Sighing heavily, he took off his clothes, then leaned over Bill and watched him for a moment. Bill rubbed his nose in his sleep, and Gustav couldn’t suppress a grin. Watching Bill sleep was always entertaining, and kind of mesmerising. He was always beautiful, but never more than when he was asleep. 

Tearing his eyes off the other boy, he covered him before he slipped under the sheets next to him and wrapped himself around a half-clothed Bill. He spooned him, nuzzled him gently, breathing in his scent which was, at the moment, a combination of perfume, shampoo, booze and cigarette smoke. 

That smell, combined with the warmth of Bill's skin, was oddly comforting and lulled Gustav into sleep seconds later.


	4. Oddly Perfect

A whole week went by before Gustav finally got to spend time alone with Bill again. It was a busy week, full of interviews, appearances and other band-related stuff, and at the end of each day, both of them were too exhausted to do anything but fall into their beds and sleep till morning. 

Separately and alone, of course. 

A week without sex was usually okay for Gustav; sometimes he even needed a break like that. So he would've been fine under normal circumstances – longing for some company in his bed, sure, but all right. 

Bill, however, wouldn't let him forget about what they'd done so far and what was yet to come. Whenever he got the chance, he rubbed himself all over Gustav or bent over to give him a good long look at his cute little butt, and more than once, Gustav had to excuse himself to go to the bathroom in order to regain his composure. 

Sexual frustration was an understatement; a harmless way to describe what he was going through – but on the other hand, he had to admit that he was kind of enjoying Bill's teasing. He was looking forward to sleeping with the other boy, and the fact that Bill kept giving him glimpses of what was to come only made his anticipation stronger; almost unbearable. 

But they had time, right? Bill was a virgin; this would be his first time. It was new territory for him, and they didn't need to rush into anything he might regret later. 

Waiting a little longer rather than jumping into bed together the first chance they got would probably make the whole experience even better, Gustav was sure. 

But the waiting _was_ hard to handle, especially considering his cock seemed to jump up at the most inopportune moments it could've picked.

But then the time finally came. 

Tom and Georg had called a few minutes before, asking whether he wanted to go out for a few drinks with them, and when Gustav had told them he had other plans, they had fortunately accepted it, and gone on their own. Minutes passed, and Gustav wondered if he should even assume that Bill would show up. Bill was unpredictable; maybe _he_ was the one who had other plans for the night. 

Gustav had been about to get dressed and follow Tom and Georg when there was a familiar knock on the door. He smiled to himself and let Bill in, leading him into his hotel room which he'd redecorated a little for the occasion. 

He'd put up a few candles, had made sure lube and condoms were ready on the bedside table, and he'd even ordered champagne and strawberries for Bill. He himself preferred beer, but for Bill, he could switch to something else for one night. 

He had a feeling Bill would be worth the trouble, and he wanted it to be special for him.

Either way, Bill seemed to approve. A small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as he looked around and took everything in. "You did all this for _me_?" he asked, clearly overwhelmed. 

Gustav shrugged. "I wanted it to be good for you. Thought a bit of an ambiance would help you relax."

Bill looked at him for a long moment and smiled. "Well, you're right. But I actually think it's the champagne that's going to make me feel more relaxed. 

With a few big steps, he'd crossed the room and opened the bottle, pouring a glass for both of them. He handed one to Gustav, deliberately making their fingers brush, and gave him a smile. 

Bill looked into his eyes as he raised his glass to his mouth, a small smile playing on his lips. 

Gustav did the same, and smirked into his champagne. "As long as you don't pass out on me again," he murmured, making Bill spit out some of his champagne by accident and put on an indignant expression. 

"Hey! I wasn't the one who suddenly had to take a leak while we were really getting into it. If you want to blame someone, blame yourself."

Gustav raised his hands. "Okay, okay, forget I said anything," he laughed. He took another sip of champagne, sitting down on the bed, and when Bill joined him, he reached for the other boy's glass and set it down on the coffee table beside his own. 

Sure, they could sit here and talk for hours and _then_ do something, but Gustav was pretty sure that Bill was just as impatient as he was – maybe even more so – so he didn't want to keep either of them waiting. He licked his lips, then slid a hand onto Bill's thigh and rubbed it lightly, looking deep into his friend's eyes. 

He could see and feel Bill shiver and had to smile, wondering if his touches had the same effect on Bill as Bill's had on him. 

He found out a moment later when Bill flopped down unceremoniously on his lap, wrapped his arms around his neck and pressed a sloppy kiss against his neck. Bill leaned forward and slowly sucked Gustav's bottom lip into his mouth, which made Gustav gasp in surprise and sent a jolt of pure pleasure straight to his cock. 

Overwhelmed by Bill suddenly taking things into his own hands, he blinked a few times, then moaned, even more surprised when Bill's hand wandered down between his legs and squeezed. 

Needless to say, Gustav was already rock-hard. 

For some, apparently foolish reason, he'd figured he would be the one to seduce Bill. That Bill would be rather timid and nervous, and wouldn't know what to do and would need to be led. But clearly that wasn't going to be the case. Bill seemed to know exactly what he was doing – and for a brief moment, Gustav considered the idea that Bill may not be a virgin after all. 

He shook his head inwardly – why would Bill lie about something like this? No, he was a virgin – he just wasn't quite as reserved as Gustav had expected. 

Bill grazed his teeth over Gustav's bottom lip and Gustav groaned, wrapping an arm around the other boy's waist and flipping him over, so Bill was pinned to the bed with Gustav on top of him. He slid between the younger boy's legs and stared down at him hungrily. 

"My turn to take care of you, Princess," he murmured, brushing a soft kiss over Bill's lips before trailing his tongue down Bill's neck and tracing his protruding collarbone with the tip of it. Then he closed his eyes and breathed Bill in while his hands travelled down his sides, gripping his hips and squeezing them. 

It wasn't that he didn't like it when the boys he slept with turned out to be more dominant than he'd expected – but in this case, he just didn't want Bill to have to worry or think about anything. He wanted him to lay back and enjoy, and let Gustav teach him everything there was to know about sex. 

Even though he wanted nothing more than to rip Bill's (probably heinously expensive) clothes off his body and have his way with him, he knew he had to do this right. So instead, he forced himself to lift his head and meet Bill's eyes. "If anything feels wrong or weird – or if something hurts? You'll tell me. All right? I never want to hurt you, Bill, so you'll poke me if something does hurt, yeah?"

Bill looked just as impatient as Gustav did, but he nodded reluctantly. "Yeah, promise. Go on now."

Gustav had to smirk and shook his head. "Damn, you're bossy. But all right. As long as you're sure."

He slid his hands under Bill's back, sliding them down to cup his hips again. He loved how narrow they were. Then he leaned forward and pushed Bill's flimsy little shirt up to his chest, revealing a sucked-in stomach and pointy hip bones. He usually wasn't attracted to overly skinny boys, but on Bill, it was hot. Maybe he transcended the traditional rules of beauty, but he was perfect, just the way he was. 

He leaned forward and brushed his lips over Bill's flat stomach, tracing his ribs with his tongue before kissing his way down his side and sucking on his hipbone – hard enough to leave a mark. He smiled, satisfied with the result, then circled Bill's bellybutton with his tongue and followed the very faint trail of almost invisible hair down to Bill's pants. 

Bill was panting, his chest and stomach rising and falling in quick succession, and when Gustav stopped, he pushed himself up on his elbows and stared down at him impatiently. "Gustav... don't tease, please. Been waiting for this for too long. Just... do it."

While Gustav wasn't going to "just do it", he had to admit that hours of foreplay weren't necessary yet – Bill wasn't even naked yet, but Gustav could already tell that he was more than a little aroused. He traced the outline of Bill's cock with his fingertips, then opened the zipper of his pants slowly, looking up into Bill's eyes. 

Bill's lashes fluttered a little and he let his head fall back, letting out a soft moan. Then Gustav opened the button of Bill's pants, and his eyes widened when he realised that Bill clearly hadn't bothered with underwear. 

Gustav couldn't complain – easier access for him.

He leaned forward and kissed the waxed area just above Bill's cock, moving continuously closer and around the area, without actually touching Bill's impressive erection. He tugged Bill's pants down all the way while Bill pushed himself up a little more and got rid of his see-through shirt.

Gustav's mouth was watering at the prospect of tasting the other boy, but when Bill was completely naked, he had to pull back and just admire the view for a while. So he did, and what he saw was breath-taking. Bill's body had to be the eighth wonder of the world; it was perfect in every way. 

"Gorgeous," he murmured before finally giving Bill the relief he needed, and wrapping his mouth around Bill's long, thick cock. He closed his eyes and sucked on it expertly, watching Bill's face and smiling inwardly when he could immediately tell that Bill loved it. 

After making sure they were both on the same page, he pinned Bill's hips down and moved his head up and down in a steady rhythm, tightening his lips around Bill's length with the intention of giving him the best blowjob he'd ever given anyone. 

He raised a brow when Bill pulled his long legs up and spread them, obviously hinting at the fact that he wanted more – so Gustav gave it to him. He blindly reached for the lube and squeezed a generous amount onto his fingers. Then he positioned his slick finger at Bill's entrance, circling the hole slowly and smiling when he could feel Bill's body reacting – his cock was leaking and his muscles tightened around the tip of his finger, inviting him in. 

When he pushed in, he barely found any resistance at all, and his finger slid in deep, eliciting another moan from Bill. He watched him intently as he moved his finger in and out, carefully stretching him when he added a second finger. He scissored them, loving how Bill clenched around him encouragingly, making it clear that he was ready for his; physically and emotionally. 

Gustav knew that Bill probably wouldn't last long – but that was all right; they could always do it again. 

For that, he would of course have to break his 'only once' clause, but he had a feeling Bill would never get boring, so it wasn't a major sacrifice. 

He finally moved off Bill's cock at the same time as he withdrew his fingers, and was rewarded with a deliciously impatient mewl from Bill. "No, don't stop!" Bill protested, but Gustav merely chuckled. 

"Did you change your mind?" he asked as he pulled off his shirt, getting Bill's full intention. He loved how those big brown eyes took in his body – he could tell that Bill liked what he saw, and the twitch Bill's cock gave wasn't the only indication. His cheeks were flushed and the look in his eyes was one of pure hunger – he couldn't have made his arousal more obvious if he'd tried. 

"What?" Bill asked, clearly distracted as Gustav unbuttoned his jeans and tugged them down, wiggling out of them. 

"Did you change your mind? Cause I can go on; suck and fuck you with my fingers all night long, if you think you're not ready to take me."

As he said this, he pulled his boxers down, revealing that he was quite well-endowed as well – his cock was thick and already read for Bill. 

"I… no," Bill breathed. "No, of course not – I want it. I want you. I want… it."

His eyes were fixed on Gustav's cock, and the latter smirked. He reached for a condom and pulled it on expertly while Bill's eyes stayed on him, watching in fascination. He reached for the lube again, slicked the shaft, then reached for a Kleenex to wipe his hand on it. Then he moved closer to Bill on his knees, leaning over him and looking down into his eyes. 

"What do you want?" he purred, making Bill shiver. 

"You," Bill whispered. "I want you. I want your cock, Gustav. Give it to me."

Gustav let out a shaky breath – Bill probably had no idea what effect his words had on him – or maybe he did; it was hard to tell. But when Bill looked at him that way; Gustav couldn't deny him anything, and reached down to take hold of his cock as he rubbed the tip of it against Bill's opening. 

"You sure?" he whispered into Bill's ear, licking the lobe and tracing the shell of it with the tip of his tongue.

He blinked, startled, when Bill's sharp nails dug into his back and tugged him down. 

"If you ask me that one more time, I swear…" Bill murmured into his ear, leaving the threat open, but Gustav got what he needed – confirmation. Bill wanted this, desperately, even, and he wasn't going to deny it to the two of them. 

He drew back a little, then wrapped his hand around the base of his cock, positioning the tip at Bill's entrance. He looked down into his friend's eyes and caught his bottom lip with his teeth as he slowly pushed in – careful not to hurt Bill, but steadily. 

Gustav had slept with many boys in his life – he'd been _inside_ of many men in his life. But none of them had ever been _this_ tight. He'd expected Bill to feel different and for this to be much more intense than anything had ever been before, but he hadn't expected that Bill would be _this_ tight. 

When he was buried inside Bill, he gasped and squeezed his eyes shut, needing a moment to compose himself. His cock was pulsing, engulfed in tight heat, and it felt absolutely fucking perfect. 

When he'd gotten more or less used to the sensation, he blinked and lifted his head – in his eagerness, he'd almost forgotten to check if it was okay for Bill too. He watched his face anxiously, but let out a breath of relief when he saw that Bill's eyes were wide, but there was no sign of displeasure on his beautiful features. He looked curious and kind of overwhelmed, but not hurt. 

"Okay?" he murmured, brushing soft kisses over Bill's lips and chin, drawing his attention away from the fullness he was probably experiencing. 

"Yeah," Bill breathed. "It feels… wow. Can you… Can you just… move a little, I…"

That was all Gustav needed; he nodded briefly and pulled out a little, just to push in again a moment later, repeating the action a few times, slowly, giving Bill the time he needed to get used to this. Bill's fingers were buried in the bed sheets, holding on to them as he lifted his legs and wrapped them around Gustav's waist (something Gustav had dreamed of almost every single night this past week), and pulled him in all the way. 

Now it was Gustav's turn to look overwhelmed and he let out a low moan. "Fuck," he hissed. "God, Bill, you're so fucking _tight_."

"Sorry," Bill murmured, but the satisfied smirk on his lips made it clear that he didn't feel sorry for anything. And that was all right – it wasn't as if Gustav was complaining or anything. If there was anything he loved, it was the feel of someone's warm, tight body around his cock. 

And Bill felt heavenly. 

"Move now," Bill ordered, which Gustav didn't comment on this time – he kind of liked the other boy's bossiness. Besides – to move was what his own body was telling him to do too, so it worked. 

He pulled out almost all the way and pushed in again, both of them moaning in unison as Gustav repeated his move over and over again until they found a rhythm. Bill pushed up against him, tilting his hips up to meet Gustav's thrusts every time he pushed in. Soon, Gustav couldn't even focus on angling his thrusts just right because the only thing he could concentrate on was the intense pleasure he got from Bill's tight body wrapped around him. His thrusts may be uncoordinated but Bill wasn't complaining; he just kept arching up at him.

The little sounds he made – gasps, moans, whimpers – drove Gustav crazy and he never wanted this to end. He could stay like this forever, but he knew it wasn't going to last forever. Bill's breath was speeding up, his body was trembling; his cock leaking onto his stomach, and Gustav knew he was close. 

He reached between the other boy's legs, focusing on getting _him_ off; knowing he would follow only seconds later. He watched Bill intently, then leaned forward to flick his tongue over one of Bill's tiny round nipples. 

That was all it took; Bill arched up, almost off the bed, moaning loudly as his cock jerked in Gustav's hand and he came all over his stomach and chest while clenching around Gustav almost painfully hard. His own orgasm was torn out of him; he couldn't have fought it if he'd tried. One more thrust was all it took for him to spill his seed as well, the pleasure shooting through his body almost unbearable. 

When his orgasm was over, all his strength seemed to fade away, and he collapsed on top of Bill. 

"Oomph," Bill huffed, making Gustav chuckle. 

"Sorry," he murmured, but when he moved to pull out of Bill, he felt the other boy's arms and legs wrap around him again, keeping him in place. 

Okay then – he could stay there a little longer. He was a little bit afraid he'd crush Bill with his weight, but as long as Bill didn't complain, he was perfectly happy right where he was. 

He buried his face in Bill's neck, feeling Bill's warm breath against his own sweaty skin. 

He took a deep breath when his cock softened, and reluctantly pulled out of Bill, getting a disappointed whine in response. 

"Sorry," he murmured, rolling off Bill. He tugged the condom off his cock and tossed it, then stayed on his back, his arms folded behind his head. He could feel Bill moving next to him, and smiled when one of Bill's thin arms was draped over his stomach almost possessively, his head resting on his chest. 

He lifted his head to press a soft kiss against Bill's forehead, stroking Bill's soft hair with gentle fingers. 

"Was it all you expected it to be?" he asked after a long moment of silence during which they were both lost in thought. 

"Fuck, yeah," Bill laughed breathlessly, turning his head up to face Gustav. "It was fucking amazing."

"Fucking amazing, huh?" Gustav asked, grinning smugly. 

Bill rolled his eyes. "Wait – forget about that. Your ego is big enough; you don't need more confirmation."

Gustav smiled. "If you say so."

He nuzzled Bill and kissed his nose. 

Then he leaned back and closed his eyes, just enjoying the silence for a while. 

"Do you want some more champagne?" he asked Bill after a moment, frowning when he didn't get an answer. He lifted his head again and smiled when he saw that Bill had passed out again – on his chest this time. He looked peaceful, and Gustav was glad it had all worked out the way he'd planned. 

Now Bill had lost his precious virginity to someone he loved, trusted, and Gustav knew Bill had been taken care of well, and hadn't been hurt. It really had turned out to be the best possible solution, and he had to admire that Bill seemed to always know the right thing to do in any situation. 

He stroked Bill's hair idly as he thought about what had just happened, and watched Bill's face silently as he wondered if this would change something between them. He sure as hell hoped Bill wasn't going to fall in love with him because the last thing he wanted to do was to break Bill's heart. 

He was however confident that that was not going to happen – Bill had known what he was getting himself into, so everything should be fine. 

He closed his eyes, and it didn't take long for him to fall asleep as well, while the champagne and strawberries stood on the nightstand, untouched. But even without that romantic touch and the hours of foreplay Gustav had planned for, the evening had turned out to be oddly perfect.


	5. Stirrings

Another thing that was oddly perfect, noticed Gustav a few days later as they were sitting in Georg's flat and watching Jurassic Park, of all things, was the curve of Tom's lips. He stared at his friend's mouth, transfixed, then shifted uncomfortably when Tom's tongue darted out to wet his lips. He wiggled his lip ring with the tip of it, then pressed his lips together as he stared back at the screen. 

Then Georg said something ridiculous, the way he often did, and Tom burst out laughing, revealing perfect white teeth. Then he said something in return to Georg, and Gustav watched his mouth move, form the words he was saying, and he swallowed hard. 

He blinked and forced himself to look at Georg instead, and try to grasp what they were talking about. But for some reason, he found his eyes magically drawn back to Tom and his perfect, perfect mouth. And his nose. And those deep brown eyes, and the twinkling in them when he looked at Georg as he spoke. 

And suddenly, Gustav found himself feeling inexplicably jealous. Of Georg. Because Tom was looking at Georg like that, and not at him, Gustav. 

He blinked again, then pushed himself up quickly, getting to his feet and excusing himself to go to the bathroom. When he was there, the door locked, he stared at himself in the mirror and frowned. 

What the hell was _that_?

He'd never looked twice at Tom – of course he was aware that Tom was attractive, but he'd never really looked at him that closely. And now he couldn't get the image of Tom and his perfect lips out of his head. 

He sighed softly, and realised that he never should've slept with Bill. It had obviously fucked with his brain somehow, and now he found himself checking out the _other_ members of his band, and that could only lead to a disaster of epic proportions. He couldn't sleep with Georg or Tom as well – Bill would probably feel betrayed, and it would cause unnecessary tension in the band dynamic. 

But fuck, how was he supposed to stop thinking about Tom's lips when the thought of them wrapped around his cock made him painfully hard?

He looked down at the bulge in his pants and sighed. His cock was becoming a nuisance. It was as if he didn't have any control over what turned him on anymore, and that was just... incredibly irritating. 

He had a problem. No one was this horny _all the time_. 

Maybe he should seek help. Get a therapist. Maybe he was a sex addict. 

He contemplated that for a moment, then shook his head and, sighing heavily, he reached down into his pants, cursing the fact that Bill wasn't here tonight, because he was sure the other boy would've gladly helped him with his little problem. Besides, Bill and Tom were twins, which meant they had the same lips, which meant he could actually find out what Tom might feel like when Tom sucked him off – by letting _Bill_ suck him off. 

But no. That wouldn't happen again. 

Ugh, this was getting complicated. 

But he only had himself to blame; he'd gotten himself into this mess on his own, so he had to find a way out of it. Maybe he should just join a monastery. 

He snorted. Even _there_ he would probably end up getting laid. 

Groaning in frustration, Gustav finally forced himself to turn off his brain, and stroked himself quickly, coming a mere seconds later because yes, he was still thinking about Tom's fucking mouth. 

And _fucking_ Tom's mouth.

***

It didn't get better over the course of the next days. Gustav spent more and more time watching Tom, admiring not only his lips but also his body. Tom was firm and lithe and muscular, and moved almost just as elegantly as his brother – or he would, if he didn't insist on wearing those ridiculous baggy pants. Gustav wanted to rip them off him and lick him from head to toe. And then coax him into letting him fuck that sweet, sweet ass while he tugged on those long braids, and…

But he knew that was never going to happen. Tom was as straight as an arrow and not even Gustav could change that. The only person Tom might actually go gay for was his own brother, and if Bill tried a little, he probably would get Tom into bed in a second. They had that whole soulmate thing going on and were constantly touching each other already – Gustav was pretty sure that it _would_ happen someday. Especially now that Bill had his first time behind himself and was starting to explore his sexuality. It was pretty much inevitable.

Maybe they'd let Gustav watch…

Anyway.

Tom would probably go for his brother. But Gustav? No. Not even if he was a girl would he have been a possible sexual partner for Tom. Tom preferred brunettes. Tall, slender brunettes with big boobs and a great ass. And while Gustav _had_ a great ass, he knew that he wasn't what Tom was looking for. Tom wanted girls that looked a bit like Barbie dolls, or Playmates. It was frustrating, yes, but Gustav had to face the facts in this case – sex with Tom was never going to happen. 

What was even more shocking than his sudden sexual attraction to Tom, was the fact that he was also beginning to fall for him. Yes. Gustav, who had never ever been in love except with sex and intimacy, was beginning to fall in love with Tom Kaulitz. Suddenly, everything Tom said seemed like the most ingenious thing ever said, and Tom's ideas were always better than anyone else's. 

Gustav was actually a little disgusted with himself when he realised how unconditionally he agreed with everything Tom said, even if it was the stupidest thing anyone had ever heard. 

And this couldn't go on. He couldn't fall for Tom. It simply wasn't an option. So when Tom suggested drinks at some pub, Gustav declined and instead opted for a quiet night in front of the TV with Georg. Georg was good – Georg would distract him. Maybe Gustav would even tell him about what had happened with Bill and how he was beginning to fall in love with Tom, and Georg would have a calm, rational way of looking at the whole situation, and would help him solve the problem. 

Yes, that was what was going to happen.

***

"You seem pensive," Georg said after he'd caught Gustav staring at the TV without really seeing it for the third time. Gustav had denied that anything was the matter twice before, but knew that Georg wasn't buying it. 

And he _wanted_ to tell the other boy what was going on, so what was he waiting for?

"I had sex with Bill and I have a crush on Tom," he sighed heavily, then blinked when Georg snorted his drink out of his nose and started coughing. Gustav bit his lip and looked at him sheepishly, then patted him on the back. "Sorry. You know you're not supposed to drink when I'm talking."

"Yeah," Georg gasped, finally calming down and pressing a hand against his chest. "But Jesus, Gustav, you could've fucking warned me."

Gustav shrugged. "How would I have done that? 'Georg, I'm going to tell you about my passionate night with Bill and my huge crush on Tom, so don't drink now?'"

Georg shook his head. "No, but... dude. You could've hinted at what you were going to say. But... anyway. You had sex with BILL?!"

Gustav nodded. "Yep. And don't look at me like that. He isn't some helpless little thing that I seduced and hurt or anything – it was actually Bill who came to me. He showed up one day and wanted me to take his virginity – who was I to say no to such a request?"

Georg stared at him. "He actually said that?"

"Yup," Gustav said, sipping his beer. 

"Wow."

"I know."

"Fuck."

"I _know_."

Georg nodded slowly and blinked, making Gustav sigh. "You're not helping, you know that?"

"Sorry." Georg blinked. "I just have a hard time picturing Bill be that forward when it comes to sex. But... so you're in love with Tom? When did that happen?"

Gustav sighed. "I'm not _in love_ with him. It's probably just the fact that I really want him that makes me feel that way. It's always like that, you know? You know someone your entire life – or almost – and suddenly you realize how hot they are, and before you know it, they're the only thing you can think – or fantasize – about. And you can only get over them when you sleep with them. And fuck, this is extremely frustrating because it's never going to happen, and even IF it was going to happen, I wouldn't _let_ it happen because it would fuck up the band. Sleeping with twins is probably number one on the list of things you shouldn't do, EVER."

"True," Georg said slowly, sipping some more beer as well. "Are you trying to sleep your way through the whole band? Cause if you are, you're doing a splendid job – and fuck, you don't want me, do you?"

Georg looked a little terrified at that idea. 

Gustav opened his mouth, then closed it. He could feel the tips of his ears getting hot and he gave a weak shrug. "I guess I wouldn't say no?"

Georg stared at him and Gustav shrugged again. "What?"

"You've fantasized about me?" Georg asked, looking like he wasn't sure how to feel. 

"I guess, once or twice? What does it matter? I need you to focus and help me with my problem." Gustav sighed heavily, then his eyebrows shot up when he noticed Georg looking down at his crotch. "Not THAT problem, dude! Georg, focus!"

Georg blinked and looked back at him, his cheeks suddenly red. "I'm sorry – I just assumed..."

And Gustav wasn't sure what it was – the quite charming flush on Georg's cheeks or that way he looked completely mortified, which was kind of adorable – but something made him lean over then and press his lips against his best friend's while his hand wandered down between Georg's legs. 

He almost gasped when he felt that Georg was hard – not semi-hard but _really_ hard. 

It was almost as if he had been waiting for this to happen; deliberately steering the conversation in that direction to make Gustav jump him. Huh. 

Georg didn't kiss him back right away and seemed a little stunned; only when Gustav was about to draw back did he cup Gustav's face between his hands and kiss him back passionately. Gustav let out a startled moan and pressed his hand harder against Georg's cock, which felt incredible.

"Fuck," Georg breathed when they broke for air, but didn't give Gustav the time to respond before he was kissing him again, even harder this time. Gustav's arm was falling asleep and the position he was in was awkward and uncomfortable, so he shifted; but what he didn't expect was for Georg to lean back against the armrest of the couch and pull him with him. Gustav wanted to brace himself but lost balance and landed on top of Georg, their bodies pressed together. He could feel his friend's warm breath on his face, and at that moment, it was the hottest thing he'd ever felt. He let out a breath, then turned his head and crushed their lips together in another hard kiss while Georg's hands stroked over his back, gripping his muscles, pulling him closer. 

The pressure in his groin was almost unbearable; Gustav pushed himself up and reached down with his other hand, unbuttoning and loosening his pants and giving his cock a few rough tugs through his boxers. When he looked back at Georg's face, he found the other boy watching, and for some reason, that was incredibly arousing. 

He licked his lips, then leaned forward and slowly sucked Georg's bottom lip into his mouth – a trick he'd picked up from Bill – and pressed his cock against Georg's... which was still confined by incredibly tight jeans, which made rubbing against him painful and uncomfortable for Gustav. 

He reached down and tugged Georg's jeans open as well, hissing when his fingers immediately brushed hot, hard flesh rather than the cotton underwear he'd expected. 

So Georg went commando? Nice...

He blinked then focused on Georg's cock which felt glorious in his hand; he weighed it tentatively, getting acquainted with the weight, feel, texture of his skin, and then started stroking him roughly. Georg let his head fall back and moaned, his throat exposed and his Adam's apple bobbing because of the vibrations. 

Gustav leaned forward and sucked on Georg's throat lightly, then harder, making Georg arch up and moan in pleasure. 

He kept stroking Georg but he needed relief too, so he tugged his own boxers down and pressed his erection against Georg's, making the other boy moan. He closed his eyes and panted against Georg's neck, burying his face in that hair before reaching up and tugging on it – he'd always wanted to do that. Georg didn't complain, but moaned instead, arching up against him, their cocks rubbing against each other, creating sweet, sweet friction. 

Gustav pressed his lips against Georg's neck and tugged on his hair at the same time as he bit him, and suddenly he felt Georg come, splashing them both with his come. 

He moaned and followed only seconds later, his whole body shaking as he rode out his orgasm and then collapsed on top of Georg. 

They lay there, panting, for a while, until Georg stretched underneath him.

Gustav nuzzled him and Georg snorted. "You totally wanted me."

"Hey!" Gustav protested. "I wasn't the one with the hard-on."

Georg flushed and Gustav grinned. "Ha!"

Georg rolled his eyes. "Oh, shut up."

They were silent for a minute, until Georg asked, "So, did I help you with your problem?"

Gustav rested his head on Georg's chest and had to smile. "Yeah, you did."

Because even though this… encounter had only lasted for ten minutes tops, it _had_ taken his mind off Tom for a while. So it had been a really successful night.

And really, he wasn't in love with Tom. He couldn't be. Gustav didn't _do_ love, so he couldn't be in love with anyone, least of all Tom, Straight Boy Extraordinaire. 

Who was he kidding?

Gustav sighed heavily because he knew he was in denial. He _did_ have feelings for Tom, and sooner or later, he would have to admit that to himself. And then find a way to fall _out_ of love with Tom. 

Why was his life suddenly so much more difficult than it had been only a few days ago?

He closed his eyes and pushed all thoughts away, and instead focused on the steady and oddly comforting beat of Georg's heart.


	6. Club Night

Gustav loved parties. He loved to drink and watch people dance, rub against each other, let their animalistic instincts run free. Parties were where he usually picked up his partners for the night, spending a lot of time on the seduction before he took them home or to his hotel room to fuck them into oblivion. 

Parties usually meant that Gustav was on the prowl, and getting laid.

Tonight, however, he found it hard to focus on the guys he would usually be attracted to. He spotted a few that would usually make him set down his drink and get up, and spend the next minutes or hours courting them, making them feel like they were special. 

Then he would take them back to his hotel – or the bathroom, in case he wanted to get rid of them right after – and fuck them raw; let his frustrations out on them only to dump them the moment they had come – or showered, in case he was feeling gracious. 

But tonight was different. Ever since he'd realised that his feelings for Tom of all people were changing, he hadn't been able to focus on much else. He'd spend a lot of time watching Tom, looking for signs that Tom might be interested in him. 

Clearly, he wasn't. 

He was with his girlfriend tonight; had brought her to the party despite David's wishes for him to keep her hidden. The fact that he'd brought her made Gustav realise that Tom was actually serious about his relationship with her; something that put a serious damper on his previously good mood. 

He sighed heavily as he watched Tom dance with her; their bodies moving together in perfect sync. Tom's hands were on her hips, her body pressed against his. A quick kiss here, a seductive smile there, before Tom's lips descended on hers and they were soon engaged in a heated make-out session in the centre of the dance floor. 

Gustav tried to push down the wave of jealousy that washed over him and to ignore his increasing frustration. 

He didn't want Tom to look at her like that; he was supposed to give those loving smiles to _him_. 

God, he was pathetic. 

A long time ago, he'd sworn he would never ever let himself fall this in love with someone, but apparently, he didn't have a say in the matter. Tom had stolen his heart, and now Gustav was the one to suffer. 

He was so focused on Tom that he barely noticed that he wasn't alone in his booth anymore. 

It wasn't until a low, slightly raspy voice chuckled into his ear that he jumped and managed to tear his eyes off the current object of his desires to realise that he had company. When he turned his head, he was surprised to come face-to-face with Bushido. 

"Hello there," Bushido purred in that seductive tone of his, a smirk gracing his full lips as he clearly enjoyed Gustav's surprise. 

Gustav stared at him, unable to mask his confusion at the rapper's sudden appearance – and his seductive tone.

That was new.

It wasn't like he'd never met the older rapper before. After initial communication problems, Bushido had become pretty close friends with both of the twins. Gustav himself had never really had a conversation with the other man; he wasn't even sure the rapper was capable of saying more than two words in a row, except when he was rapping. They'd waved at each other at parties, but that was it. Bushido had never before shown an interest in Gustav. 

But Gustav recognised the look on the other man's face. There was definite interest, with more than a hint of desire. An expression that made Gustav sigh. 

He avoided sleeping with celebrities. Bushido wasn't the first one to show an interest in him, but so far, Gustav had always avoided getting too close to them. He knew that some people were just waiting for the opportunity to run to Bild and declare that they'd spent a passionate night with him. And Bushido, of all people, wasn't someone to be trusted. 

"What do you want?" he asked not unfriendly, reaching for his beer and drinking the remainder of it. As if on cue, a waitress appeared at their table, refilling his glass. 

"I thought that was fairly obvious," Bushido drawled, giving him another one of those smirks. 

It wasn't that Bushido wasn't attractive. In fact, he was pretty damn hot and Gustav was more than a little curious about that bad-ass attitude of his. He was pretty sure that in bed, Bushido was a tame little kitten. 

Part of him was intrigued and wanted to pursue this; see if he could get the older rapper to lose his control and scream for him. But the bigger part of him knew that it wasn't a good idea and that he wasn't going to go there. Not tonight, maybe not ever.

"Look," he said with a sigh. "I'm sure you're a good guy and that you're fucking amazing in bed, but I don't think this is a good idea."

Bushido raised a thick dark brow, his mouth curling up in amusement. "And why is that?"

Gustav heaved another heavy sigh and shrugged. "Well, I can see where this is headed. I've done it countless times. We start drinking and talking, and I'm pretty sure we'll get along just fine. But then the talking leads to touching, the touching leads to sex, and then there's no mystery left and before I know it, you'll be in love with me. Then you'll get lonely. And the loneliness will lead you to calling me, and I'll turn you down because that's how I am. I usually don't fuck people more than once, and I certainly won't fall in love with you. And that'll make you unhappy and you'll keep calling me, and I just… want to avoid that, all right? I may look innocent, but I'm bad news and you'll be better off just walking away right now 'cause it'll spare us both a lot of pain. You won't have to deal with the pain of never really having me, and I'll be spared the pain of having to dump your ass. So do us both a favour and walk away while you still can."

He reached for his drink and sipped some beer, watching Bushido's reaction. 

For a long moment, he looked completely stunned. Then, those black brows rose and he let out a roaring laugh that made Gustav question his sanity. "You're pretty damn sure of yourself, aren't you?"

Gustav scowled and rolled his eyes, turning away from Bushido, planning to just ignore him. Maybe that was the only way to get rid of him. His eyes scanned the crowd, but this time, they couldn't find its anchor. Tom was gone; must've taken his girlfriend home and was probably already inside her. 

Fuck this. 

Gustav downed the remainder of his beer, trying not to let the jealousy consume him. He hated this. He hated it more than he would ever let on. He couldn't stand the fact that Tom had a girlfriend, but even more than that, he hated that the other boy was clearly obsessed with her. She wasn't just the usual kind of girl who threw herself at Tom and was all over him; she actually made him work for it. And Tom seemed to enjoy that.

He was pulled out of his reverie when a large hand squeezed his thigh. He looked down and arched a brow when he realised that Bushido was still here, clearly not at all deterred by what Gustav had just told him. Gustav still wasn't inclined to take the other man home, but his resistance was beginning to crumble. If Bushido was stupid enough to ignore the warning he'd given him, then it really wouldn't be Gustav's fault if the older man ended up getting hurt. It wasn't his job to protect Bushido's heart, after all. If he thought he could handle him, then… well. Maybe he could.

He stared at Bushido's hand for a long moment, letting himself admire the long, thick yet elegant fingers. When he looked up, he was surprised to realise that Bushido had scooted over and was now practically sitting on his lap, his face inches away from Gustav's, his breath warm on his face. 

Gustav sighed softly and allowed himself to let his eyes drift down to Bushido's lips. 

Maybe he should just give in and let it happen. After all, he _had_ warned the other man, and there was nothing else he could do to protect him. And maybe it would be fine. Maybe he'd found someone who was like him; someone who didn't call their bed partners after the first night and would be perfectly fine if Gustav didn't call him back. 

Which he wouldn't, most likely. Bushido could be a tiger in bed, but Gustav still wasn't inclined to spend more than one night with any given man.

"I'm going to take you to my room now," Bushido murmured, and for the moment, Gustav was transfixed by the sensuality of the other man's lips. "And I'm going to fuck your brains out."

A shiver went through Gustav at those words, and his body reacted instantly. It wasn't as if he could help it; at the mention of sex with an admittedly hot man, his cock developed a life of its own and was rock-hard in an instant. 

"Oh yeah? I don't bottom," he murmured, hating that his voice sounded a little breathless. Gustav always had the upper hand during his nightly – and daily – encounters, but it certainly looked as if Bushido wasn't going to give up his current control easily. 

A smirk appeared on Bushido's lips and his tongue darted out to wet his dry lips as he revealed perfect white teeth. "Is that so?" he murmured, leaning in slowly, his eyebrows shooting up. "We'll see about that."

Gustav swallowed around the lump in his throat, trying to make his cock go down. Okay, so the smug smirk and determined tone of Bushido's voice were hot, and Gustav could no longer deny that his body wanted, maybe even needed this. Maybe this was what he needed to make his feelings for Tom go away. 

Hard, fast, emotionless sex with Bushido, God help him, might give him back the groove he'd been missing lately. 

Gustav licked his own lips, never taking his eyes off the older man. "I'm not sure I can walk out of here straight," he admitted. "I seem to have a little… problem."

Bushido's smirk widened and he let his hand move up an inch or two, his fingers grazing the very obvious bulge in Gustav's pants. "Well," he said, his eyes widening appreciatively as he brushed his fingertips over Gustav's stretched jeans, "in that case… meet me in the bathroom in a minute."

He drew back abruptly, rose to his feet and disappeared in the crowd, leaving Gustav to stare after him in surprise. 

Okay, so Bushido was unpredictable; Gustav had to give him that. Images of those large hands on his cock, that smug smirk wiped away as his mouth closed around his cock, flashed up in his brain, and Gustav's hand tightened around his beer glass. He glanced at his watch and picked up his glass, finishing his umpteenth beer as he got up and pushed his way through the crowd as well, making his way to the bathroom. 

He entered it, looking around gingerly for the locked cubicle door he expected to see, but quickly came to the conclusion that the bathroom was empty. Bushido wasn't here. 

Okay. 

So either the other man had been pulling his leg all along, or he'd changed his mind about spending the night with him. 

Or the bastard had more self-restraint than Gustav ever could've guessed, and he'd left Gustav here in the knowledge that Gustav would find him, begging to be fucked into the mattress at some other point. 

Smug, fucking bastard. 

Gustav sighed heavily and slid into a cubicle, locking the door behind him. He leaned against the wall, running a hand through his slightly sweaty hair while the other one was working on the fastenings of his jeans, freeing his pulsing cock. 

He jerked himself off with no real enthusiasm or skill; tugging at his cock while he thought about Bushido on his knees in front of him, begging for his cock. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back, fisting his cock in rough, fast strokes as he imagined the rapper's mouth close around his dick, sucking hard, cheeks hollowing as his head bobbed back and forth on his erection. 

He came in a rush of sensations, spurting seed all over the opposite wall of the cubicle, his eyes squeezed shut as he imagined coming all over Bushido's smug smirk, coating his lips with his seed. 

Finally, he collapsed against the bathroom wall, a breathless moan caught in his throat as his body cooled down and he shivered, recovering from one of the best orgasms of his entire life. 

An orgasm that should've happened in Bushido's fucking hotel room.


	7. Wakeup Call

_'Can you hear me, I am screamin' from the top of the world – Can you hear me?_

Gustav groaned as his phone went off, and he rolled around in his bed, blindly reaching for the offensively loud object and staring at the display. He didn't recognise the number and wondered who on earth would have the balls to call him in the middle of the night. 

Throwing an arm over his face, he pressed the 'accept' button and put the phone to his ear. "What?" he grunted.

"Sorry. Were you asleep?" a low voice asked on the other end of the line, and Gustav paused. 

Sleepy as he was, it took a moment for his brain to connect the voice with a face, but after a moment, he realised who he was talking to. 

Bloody hell…

"What do you want, Bushido?"

"Anis," he other man said, followed by an amused chuckle. 

"Huh?" Gustav asked, confused and already on his way back to sleep. 

"Call me Anis," Bushido said and Gustav grunted in reply. He really wasn't in the mood for Bushido's games at any time, but especially not when he'd been asleep and dreaming about Tom, for fuck's sake. 

"Admit it, you missed me," Bushido – Anis – continued and Gustav sighed. 

"What do you want, _Anis_? I have a busy day tomorrow and I'm not in the mood for this."

Another chuckle met his ear and Gustav sat up, staring at the phone incredulously. Then he grabbed it and hit it against the pillow a couple of times. 

But since he was already awake, he might as well listen to what the other man had to say. 

"What. Do you. Want?" he repeated, his tone more than just a little impatient. 

"Jesus Christ, you really aren't a morning person, are you?"

Gustav glanced at his watch and realised that it was 6 am already, and that he would've had to get up in half an hour anyway. He sighed heavily and fell back against the pillows, his hand resting on his bare stomach. "No, I'm not," he snapped. Then he paused. "Well, actually I am, but I didn't get much sleep, considering some idiot chose to call me at 6 fucking AM. Now are you going to tell me why you feel the need to wake me up at this ungodly hour or shall I just hang up right away?"

"No, wait," Bushido said, and it was Gustav's turn to smirk when he heard how worried the other man sounded. 

He waited, as requested by Anis. 

"What are you wearing?"

Gustav paused for a moment, then stared at the phone. "You've got to be fucking kidding me," he murmured. "Is that why you called? Phone sex?"

He imagined Bushido's eyebrows shooting up as he said, "Are you going to answer me or do I need to come over there?"

"You don't even know where I am," Gustav sighed. "Fine. Go ahead. Phone sex at 6 in the fucking AM. Why the hell not? I should just hang up on you after you left me in the fucking bathroom on my own last night. Fucking bastard."

"That's the attitude I was looking for," Bushido said cheerfully, and Gustav rolled his eyes. 

"So, what are you wearing?"

"Nothing," Gustav replied, sounding bored. 

"Gee, can't you at least fake some enthusiasm?" Bushido sighed. 

"I never fake it," Gustav said, grinning when he heard Bushido's low chuckle. 

"Well, that's something, I suppose. So you're wearing nothing and you're clearly in bed."

"Evidently."

"Touch yourself."

Gustav opened his eyes. "You're not very good at this. You realise that, right?"

Bushido sighed. "Just do it."

Gustav grunted and slid his hand under the sheets, wrapping it around his semi-hard cock. "Okay. Hand on cock. What now?"

"Are you determined to make this difficult for me?" Bushido asked conversationally. "Now stroke yourself. Slowly. Imagine it's my hand. Or better – my mouth."

"Oooh, how inventive." Gustav wasn't sure if it was the fact that he was still half-asleep that made Bushido this uncreative, or if he really couldn't come up with something better. He closed his eyes again, idly moving his hand up and down on his cock. He remembered Bushido's hand well; long, masculine fingers, a firm grip. 

Mmmh, yes. This could work after all. 

"Go on," he said when Bushido was silent. 

"Now let go of it."

Gustav's hand stopped moving and he frowned. "You're kidding, right? What the hell is this?"

He could hear Bushido laugh, and groaned in frustration. "That's it. I'm hanging up on you. Have a great fucking day!"

He'd just hung up the phone and thrown it at the foot of his bed angrily when there was a knock on his door. He stared at the door for a moment, then glanced at his alarm clock and sighed heavily; probably someone to wake him up and take him to breakfast.

Looking down, he realised that his cock was still hard, still tenting the bed sheets, and that hiding his erection from whoever was at the door would be difficult. He sighed and slid out of bed, grabbing the sheets and wrapping them around himself. Then he finally made his way to the door and opened it. 

And saw no one. He blinked, then stepped out of his room, looked left and right, but the corridors were empty. 

He leaned against the doorway for a moment, staring at the empty space ahead of him, then growled loudly, stepped back into his room and slammed the door shut.

Fuck his neighbours or whoever was fucking with him – fuck everyone!

As if the fact that Bushido had once again not given him what he wanted wasn't enough, some stupid idiot apparently also found it funny to play stupid pranks on him. 

He almost felt sorry for everyone who had to deal with him today – it wasn't even 6.30 and his mood was already ruined. 

He shook off the bed sheets and stomped into the bathroom, getting into the too-hot shower and wrapping his hand around his cock to finish himself off. 

He was really getting tired of this – wanking was nice, sure, but it just didn't have the same amazing effect on him it had had when he was thirteen. But since he clearly wasn't getting any this morning… what was he supposed to do?

He closed his eyes and tightened his hand around his erection, and resolutely thought about anything _but_ Bushido. Or Tom. Or Bill. 

It didn't quite work out.


	8. An Invitation

The rest of the day was just as long and exhausting as Gustav had expected. Everything frustrated Gustav, and more than once did he get into a pointless fight with one or several of his band mates. And every time, he was aware that it was his own fault; that he was pointing out little things that didn't matter when the other three weren't even doing anything wrong. They had every right to get angry, and maybe that was what he was counting on. He was looking for a way to blow off some steam, and what better way to do that than picking useless fights with his best friends? 

Bill, Tom and Georg did however know Gustav and his moods and were smart enough to end the arguments before they could even really start and get out of control, and secretly, Gustav was grateful that they ended up just leaving him alone.

The fact that they were pretty much ignoring him after realising that he was in a bad, bad mood was something Gustav eternally grateful for; he knew how bad he could get when he was pissed. So instead of criticizing his friends, he stayed in his corner and started listening to music, which also gave him the time to think about his current position and the situation he – or his treacherous cock – had gotten himself into. He leaned back and closed his eyes for a moment, calming down, then watched his friends through half-lidded eyes, trying to figure out how things had changed since he'd started breaking his Number One Rule and had started something with several of his band mates. 

There was Georg who was, of course, acting completely normal. Their brief encounter the other night didn't seem to have changed anything between them. Gustav could handle having the twins hate him for a while, but he couldn't bear the thought of having a serious fight with Georg or damaging their friendship permanently. The minutes they'd spent together, grinding against each other, touching, had been fantastic. Gustav couldn't deny it. But it had been clear from the beginning that it would be a one-time thing and that it wouldn't mean anything, and apparently, Georg understood that as well. 

Then there was Tom who also behaved just the way he usually did, which wasn't surprising, considering he wasn't aware of what had happened in the last few days. He basically had no idea what was going on, and didn't seem to notice that anything had changed. Which was definitely a good thing; Gustav was sure that if he _did_ know about Gustav's night with Bill, he would've punched him already, protecting his little brother's honour, or something. But Bill seemed to have shut up about it, so that was good as well. 

Then there was Bill. Bill was the one Gustav was the most worried about. Maybe he was imagining things – though he didn't think so – but Bill seemed to be glancing over at him a lot more than he had before. The younger boy had never paid much attention to him before, always busy clinging to Tom or teasing Georg, but today, Gustav had caught Bill looking at him on multiple occasions, and it worried him. The looks he got from Bill could be innocent and coincidental, sure, but Gustav had a feeling, they weren't. They didn't feel casual t him – there was something else in the other boy's eyes, and Gustav had a feeling he knew what it was. It was exactly what he'd been afraid of in the first place. 

He'd seen that look on countless boys' faces in his life, and it had always led to bad things and hurt feelings. He might be mistaken, of course, but as far as he could tell, Bill had developed a little crush on him. There was admiration in Bill's eyes, maybe even a little lust. Which would be fine – Gustav prided himself on being great in bed, so it was completely natural for Bill to lust after him. What worried him, however, was the slight shyness in Bill's eyes. It was completely uncharacteristic for him, and it was what gave him away – unless Gustav was completely mistaken and Bill wasn't in love with him at all, and the glances he gave him were of a completely different nature. 

But he really didn't think so. 

He sighed softly and bit his lip. He should've known that sleeping with Bill would eventually lead to him breaking the younger boy's heart – it was what he had been afraid of the moment he'd first considered sleeping with Bill and now it looked like it was happening. Dammit. He didn't really care about most boys' hearts, but Bill's was something precious that needed to be protected. 

But maybe he was freaking out over nothing; maybe Bill wanted another hot, steamy session in Gustav's bed and was too shy to ask. Maybe Bill would meet his soulmate tomorrow and forget all about this little crush. But considering Gustav's luck lately, that wasn't probable. It would be just his luck if Bill fell in love with him and he would have to disappoint him. If it came to the worst, the band would break up and... 

No, there was no point in being this pessimistic. Bill was a grown-up; he could handle rejection. Right?

It wasn't that he couldn't imagine falling for Bill – maybe in another place at another time, they would've made the perfect couple. But first of all, Gustav didn't fall in love – or hadn't, until recently – and secondly, he was interested in Tom, not Bill. And dating one twin while courting and trying to woo (theoretically, anyway) the other was a plan that was doomed to fail. Not that Tom would ever find out Gustav was in love with him – no way. Gustav wasn't suicidal, and he would fall out of love with Tom any second now anyway. 

He sighed, then glanced over at Tom who was smiling and laughing and looking beautiful and _fuck_ , what had he gotten himself into? His life had gone from absolutely perfect to disastrous, and he didn't know how to fix it. 

Getting rid of his dick might help – but he was rather attached to his equipment, so that wasn't an option. Dammit. 

And then, there was also Bushido. 

Bushido who had flirted with him at a club, gotten him all hot and bothered and then left him in the bathroom, only to call him at an ungodly hour of the morning, get him hard _again_ , only to hang up on him. 

And the worst thing about it all – Gustav was intrigued. The older man fascinated him for some reason. It wasn't just the fact that Bushido – or Anis, as he wanted to be called – was tall, good-looking and kind of a bad boy, which Gustav had always had a thing for; he also had this sexual energy that made Gustav hard the moment he thought about him. He'd tried not to let Bushido affect him but if he was entirely honest with himself, he had to admit that... well, he was interested. More than a little. 

Some part of him hoped Bushido wouldn't give up and that he'd keep his little game up. Of course the bigger part of Gustav denied that he had any interest in Bushido at all, and refused to even think about him. 

Gustav blinked when Tom waved a hand in front of his face; they had arrived at their destination (what were they doing again – a photo shoot? Interview? Gustav wasn't sure) and he needed to focus and be the Gustav the fans knew and loved. He took his earphones out and stored his iPod in his pocket, then pushed himself up and sighed as he got out of the van – now he was even more confused than he'd been before.

***

Back at the hotel that night, Gustav made his way back to his room. He didn't feel like going out – even though a good shag would definitely make him feel better, he just wasn't in the mood for it. As he approached the door to his room, he immediately noticed the corner of a red envelope – he assumed – peeking out underneath the door from the inside of the room. He frowned curiously, resisted the urge to grab the object, tear it open and read it right away, and unlocked his door, went inside and closed the door first before finally picking up what did indeed turn out to be a large red envelope. 

There was nothing on it, not even his name, which was highly unusual for fan mail – which was what Gustav assumed it was. Usually, fans seemed to think the bigger, pinker, brighter the writing, the more likely it was that it would actually be opened. But this one seemed to have no inscription. 

Hmm. 

Gustav turned it around, tore it open and pulled out its contents - a note and a smaller envelope, both in the same red. Gustav sat down on the bed and turned the note around, unfolded it and blinked when there was only one single line on the paper. The note read:

_Come see me after the show. B._

Gustav's brow furrowed. "Huh," he muttered. 

They didn't have a show in the next few days. He assumed that the 'B' had to be Bill – who else? But a closer look at the handwriting made him realize that it wasn't Bill who had written this, and the more he thought about it, the more he thought he knew who _had_ sent him this. The bold red of the envelope and stationary was pompous and could really only belong to one person he could think of. 

He reached for the smaller envelope, hoping to find his suspicion confirmed after finding out what was in it. And he was right. The second envelope held a ticket to a concert dated tomorrow, as well as a backstage pass. 

A Bushido concert. 

Gustav rubbed his forehead and sighed – he had to admit that Bushido – or Anis – had balls, at least, and that he was persistent. If he had been in the other man's place, he might have given up already, but Bushido kept pursuing him, and the part of Gustav that desperately _wanted_ this to work out, hoped that he wouldn't leave him hanging again. 

After staring at the ticket for a long moment, Gustav slipped it into his bedside table drawer, took off his clothes and lay down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling and weighing his options. If he went to the concert and everything went right, he would be in bed with Bushido by this time tomorrow. If he went and things _didn't_ work out, he would be terribly frustrated instead. 

And if he didn't go… 

He sighed heavily and knew that _that_ wasn't going to happen. He would regret it if he didn't go – he was too damned curious for his own good and knew that, no matter what, he would be at that gig tomorrow. 

Whether that would turn out to be a good idea or not, he didn't know yet. 

He rolled onto his side, threw an arm over his head and decided to just stop thinking and get some actual rest. He closed his eyes and relaxed, but it still took a long time for him to fall asleep that night.


	9. Role Reversal

Gustav had no idea what he was even doing here. 

Well, actually, he did. He was here to see a Bushido concert, even though he wasn't really a fan of rap at _all_ and felt more than a little awkward between Bushido's hardcore fans. He was wearing a hoodie and a baseball cap, which fortunately didn't attract a lot of attention; he wasn't the only one with that outfit. He blended in nicely, and no one would recognize him. Excellent. He'd arrived a little late, so Bushido was already on stage and...

Fuck, he looked good. He looked really good, and he sounded good. Gustav took him in for a moment, then made himself actually listen to the other man's lyrics, and was a little impressed. The texts weren't half-bad, the songs were catchy. Gustav could do without Bushido's 'yo' attitude, but looked past that and after a while, he actually had a pretty good time. He'd had a few beers, moved to the beats, then actually found himself cheering when the concert was over. 

It had been far more entertaining than he'd expected, and Bushido's stage presence was amazing. 

He took a breath, then closed his fingers around the backstage pass in his pocket, wondering if now was the right time to use it. He still wasn't sure what to expect when he _was_ backstage, but... well, only one way to find out, right?

He walked past all the other spectators to make his way to the backstage entrance, flashed his pass and was let behind the stage. He was familiar with this venue, so it didn't take a long time for him to find the changing rooms, and Bushido's in particular. 

He hesitated for a moment and blinked when he realised that he was actually a little nervous. His heart was beating a little faster than usual and it took a moment before he had the courage to raise his hand and knock on the door. 

No answer. 

He frowned, then reached for the handle and opened the door. The room was empty; Bushido was probably still busy signing autographs or whatever. He went inside and took a look around; there wasn't much to see, so he flopped down on a chair and waited. 

And waited. And waited. 

He was about to actually nod off when the door opened and he heard a deep, rumbling laugh as Bushido entered the room and the door was closed behind him. He had pulled off his shirt, revealing tanned skin, tattoos and a gorgeous, lickable body. Gustav actually felt himself staring for a long moment – and his cock stirred in his pants as his mouth went dry. 

Then Bushido noticed him and stared back at him. 

"You came," he said, sounding a little stunned. 

Gustav raised a brow and shrugged. "Why wouldn't I? Free concert ticket, right?"

Bushido shrugged back. "I guess I didn't expect you to give in that easily," he said with a smug smirk, and Gustav rolled his eyes. 

"You're a wanker. I can go if you don't want me here." He stood up and made for the door but was held back when Bushido grabbed his wrist. 

"No, wait. Of course I want you here; if I didn't, I wouldn't have sent you the ticket, would I?"

Gustav shrugged. "I don't know how you think."

Bushido seemed to contemplate that statement for a moment, then shrugged. "With my cock, mostly," he admitted, making Gustav laugh. 

Bushido grinned back and Gustav suddenly noticed that Bushido's hand was still wrapped around his wrist. He looked down at their hands, then blinked when he was pulled closer. He raised his head and looked up at Bushido, his mouth going dry when he looked into those dark eyes. And for some reason, Gustav felt his heart skip a beat, a nervous tingling in his stomach. 

This wasn't like him at all; he didn't _get_ nervous. Especially not in the company of a handsome man. He always knew what to do in such situations, and always had the upper hand. But Bushido's intense gaze made him kind of uneasy, and he was beginning to think that he wasn't going to be in control here. There was no doubt about the fact that Bushido was obviously very dominant in the bedroom – but so was Gustav. Under normal circumstances anyway. So this might become a bit of a problem. 

Or maybe not. 

Because right now, he felt like his treacherous body was going to let the other man do just about anything to him. This was unfamiliar territory, and yes, that made him nervous. 

He cleared his throat. "So, your concert was pretty good," he said, tugging his hand back and taking a step back. He pretended to look around Bushido's changing room and cursed the fact that there wasn't all that much to look at. Some clothes, some magazines, some food… and that was it, pretty much. He slid his hands into his pockets, wiping his sweaty palms on his jeans. 

"You liked it?" he heard Bushido ask, and swallowed hard when he saw the man dropping his pants from the corner of his eyes. He was tempted to look and check him out, but for some reason, he didn't. Maybe he didn't want to give Bushido the satisfaction of drooling over him, or maybe he just didn't trust what he was going to do when he saw Bushido in his tight boxer briefs. Even without looking at him, he could tell that Bushido looked kind of amazing and ridiculously hot.

"Yeah," he said after a moment, waiting for Bushido to pull on a different pair of jeans before he finally looked at him again. "It wasn't bad for, you know, rap."

He grinned and Bushido raised a brow. "Ohh, not a hip hop fan, then."

Gustav wrinkled his nose and shook his head. "Not particularly, no."

He caught himself staring at the other man's abs and licked his lips unconsciously. 

And suddenly, his nervousness was gone, and the old Gustav was back. 

What the hell was he doing here?

He wasn't going to let Bushido dictate what was going to happen. The other man had been toying with him for the past few days, and he wasn't going to let him decide when they were going to see each other or when something was going to happen. And this time? He definitely _wasn't_ going to let Bushido get away before he got what he came here for. 

In a matter of seconds, he'd closed the distance between them and had Bushido pinned against the nearest wall. The stunned look on the other man's features made him smirk and before Bushido had the time to recover, he reached down between their bodies and cupped the admittedly impressive bulge between Bushido's legs with a firm grip. 

Bushido looked caught off guard and Gustav smiled sweetly. "This is what I'm here for, right?" he asked, making his voice low and silky; almost like a purr. "This is what you want, isn't it?"

He could see the other man shiver, and his grin widened. He tugged Bushido's trousers down, then slid a hand into his briefs, and cursed himself for looking momentarily surprised as well – Bushido was already hard, _and_ his cock felt pretty amazing. Long and thick and kind of perfect, to be honest. Gustav was tempted to look, but didn't. He couldn't admit how attracted to him he was – not yet. 

He hid his surprise by leaning forward and licking a trail up Bushido's neck, tasting sweat, while he wrapped his hand around the other man's length and started stroking him firmly but slowly, making sure it was enjoyable but not quite enough for him to actually come. 

He drew back a little, keeping his hand on Bushido's cock, and looked at him contemplatively, debating how to proceed. Should he keep him pinned against the wall and rub against him until they both came, so that he finally got what he'd been dreaming of ever since Bushido had first propositioned him at that party? Or should he show him who had the upper hand here, stroke him until he was _so_ close to the edge, and then leave him here, the way Bushido had left _him_ hanging twice in a row now?

It was hard to decide which option was more appealing, so he allowed himself to think about it some more. In the meantime, he reached up with his free hand, cupped the back of Bushido's neck and pressed their lips together in a hard, rough kiss; something he'd been thinking of doing for a while now.

An involuntary moan escaped him when Bushido's tongue slid into his mouth right away and he was kissed back passionately. Bushido's hands were roaming over his body, sliding down to grip his ass and tug him closer. His own cock was pulsing in his pants and demanding to be touched, but he wasn't going to let that happen; not until he'd decided what to do here. 

He smirked against the other man's lips as something occurred to him, and he let go of Bushido's cock to reach for one of his hands that were still resting on his ass, and slid it between his own legs. Bushido took the hint right away and squeezed him through the tight fabric of his jeans while their tongues slid against each other in what had to be one of the best kisses of his entire life – and Gustav had kissed a large number of guys. 

He thrust his hips forward, pressing his cock harder against Bushido's palm and letting out a shaky breath when he felt the other man working on the button and zipper of his jeans and slide his hand into his boxers. He thrust his cock into Bushido's fist, moaning at the firm grip. The kiss grew in heat as Bushido started stroking him roughly; there was no finesse or technique, just good, old-fashioned wanking, and Gustav loved every second of it. Meanwhile, Bushido's erection was pressed against Gustav's hip, digging into it almost, and demanding to be touched. 

Gustav smirked inwardly when Bushido's hips jerked forward impatiently, but he ignored his cock and just focused on the kiss and how that large, strong hand felt wrapped around his own erection. He bit the other man's lip when Bushido squeezed him, and Gustav knew he was close. He could feel the tremors that announced his orgasm coursing through his body and couldn't hold back another moan. He ran his hand up Bushido's stomach and chest, tracing his abs with his fingertips, then smoothed his flat palm up to his chest, flicking his thumb over one of Bushido's nipples. He wanted to lick that body; spend hours just tracing every single muscle and tattoo – but not today. He had plans and couldn't let either Bushido or himself fuck them up. 

He rubbed the other man's nipple firmly, pinching lightly, and smirked when he felt Bushido's cock twitch where it was trapped between their bodies. Bushido's hand tightened around him, stroking him firmly, and a second later, Gustav was coming, moaning when he spilled himself all over Bushido's hand. 

He tensed for a moment, then relaxed when the waves of pleasure ebbed off, and the kiss went from passionate to lazy, their tongues sliding against each other slowly as Gustav recovered from the unexpected force of his orgasm. 

He finally drew back, sucking in a breath, then looked down and smirked when he saw Bushido's come-covered hand. He licked his lips and looked up at the other man through half-lidded eyes, then took a step back and tugged his boxers and pants back up, buttoning up. 

Bushido was still looking at him hungrily, and Gustav smiled sweetly as he pulled up the hood of his sweatshirt and took another step back. "Well, this was nice," he said conversationally, and in a tone that didn't suggest that they had just engaged in highly erotic sexual activities. "We should do this again sometime. Thanks for the ticket again, and… see you!"

With those words, he made his way towards the door, biting his lip hard to keep himself from laughing out loud when Bushido made an incredulous sound. 

"Are you kidding? You're not just gonna leave me here like that!" Bushido's voice sounded husky and desperate and incredulous, and Gustav masked his smirk as he looked over his shoulder and raised a brow. 

"Oh, did you want something? I'm sorry – gotta get up early tomorrow and it's past my bedtime, already. Nice of you to invite me – this was far more enjoyable than I expected. But anyway… gotta run. Night!"

Then he left the room, chuckling to himself when he heard Bushido's groan, and he felt oddly elated as he made his way towards the stage door and left the venue – and Bushido – behind. 

As he got into his car, he hoped that this had shown the other man that he wasn't someone he could just fuck around with, and he was curious to see how long it would take Bushido to call him again and beg for more.

He had a feeling it wouldn't take all that long…


	10. Infatuation And Frustration

All right. So apparently Gustav's estimation about how long it would take Bushido to get over himself and call Gustav to beg for more, had been wrong. He'd assumed it would take a couple of days at the very most, but either he'd offended the bastard more than he'd thought, or Bushido was playing with him again. 

The idea that Bushido just might not be attracted to him at all didn't even occur to Gustav because the chance of _that_ being the reason for Bushido's silence, was just not very high. Gustav knew he was hot, knew Bushido wanted him, so that couldn’t be the reason.

So he had to be offended or playing with him.

Gustav frankly thought the second option was more likely. He didn't really know Bushido all that well, but he had a feeling that he wasn't someone who got offended easily. Bushido had probably even considered texting (or sexting) him the very night it had happened but had then realized that the only way for him to get the upper hand again, was to ignore Gustav for a while. Which he might be right about.

Bastard. 

Either way, a week had gone by and Gustav still hadn’t heard back from the other man. 

Gustav had actually been tempted to call him a couple of times when he'd been in bed at night, horny and alone (which was mostly Tom's fault – but he would think about _that_ later). But he'd managed to resist and hadn't gotten in touch with Bushido – and he wouldn't. It was definitely the other man's turn to give in and arrange something – if he was still interested. 

Which he was. 

Gustav knew he was irresistible. At least to most people – there seemed to be a few odd individuals who were perfectly able to resist his charms; one of them being the man Gustav desperately _wanted_ to be liked by. 

Freaking Tom, honestly...

To be quite honest, Gustav wasn't sure what to think anymore. One moment, Tom was staying as far away from him as he possibly could, spending all his time with Bill in their perfect little twin bubble, while sometimes, Gustav almost got the feeling that Tom _knew_ how Gustav felt about him, and was using that knowledge to drive him crazy. 

But that wasn't possible, right? No one except Georg knew that he was in love with Tom, and Georg wouldn’t tell anyone; Gustav was sure of it. So unless Tom had suddenly become super-observant, it wasn't possible that he knew about it. It just wasn't.

Yet when Tom leaned in and whispered something into his ear, his warm breath ghosting over his skin, or when he gave him that grin Gustav was completely crazy about, Gustav got the distinct feeling that he knew something.

But he was probably only imagining things. Tom probably wasn't being seductive at all; it was just the way he always acted. It was Tom being Tom, and Gustav was interpreting things the wrong way because he was in sappy, deep, passionate love. Or at least had a very strong crush on Tom. 

Either way, it was infuriating. Couldn't his brain just fucking _accept_ that he and Tom were never gonna happen? Why was it so hard to understand that? Why was it so hard to just forget about Tom? If love was so irritating and hopeless, why did anyone even _want_ to be in love?

Gustav had heard it countless times; people feeling lonely, wanting someone to share things with… He had to admit that in theory it _did_ sound rather nice, but really, when did love ever work out? Sure, there were some rare couples who spent their entire lives together, but for most people, that fairy tale didn’t work out. One look at the divorce statistics was enough to be able to tell that love didn’t exist for most people. At least not the ‘forever’ kind of love. 

Or maybe he was just too cynical to see the positive aspects of love. That might be a possibility too. He only saw the bad, the pain. Maybe it wasn’t as bad as he thought it was. Maybe he should give it a try. 

But that still left him with the tiny problem that it was never going to happen because Tom was straight and not interested in him. And yet he could literally sit there and watch him for hours, which was hugely unsatisfying. He wasn’t sure how long he could take this without going crazy. 

So other people could go ahead and be enthusiastic about love, but Gustav was never going to be one of them.

As far as he was concerned, love sucked.

***

Gustav was back in Tom world. He'd known it for a while, but now he was sure that he was definitely in love with his friend and band mate. And he still didn't know what to do about it. Or whether to do anything about it at all. 

Of course he had, at first, promised himself that he would get over Tom and that the latter would never ever find out about his crush. But the more time he spent with him (which was unavoidable at the moment, as they had a lot of band-stuff to do), the more he realized that this was not just some passing infatuation, but that he was actually in love with Tom. And it seemed to be the kind of love that demanded something to be done about it. He knew he wouldn't get over this on his own, so he had to find a way to… well, tell Tom and then make him fall in love with him. 

_How_ he was going to do that, he didn't know. He had no fucking clue. 

But maybe Georg did. 

He was still the only one who knew about it, and Gustav knew that he hadn't forgotten about it because whenever Georg caught Gustav staring at Tom with a probably very idiotic expression, he gave him a little smirk that made Gustav want to punch him. So maybe instead of smirking dumbly, Georg could make himself useful and help him figure this out. 

So that evening, Gustav made his way to Georg's, got a beer and made himself comfortable on his friend's couch. He had to grin a little as he remembered what had happened the _last_ time they had been on a couch together – but he knew that wasn't gonna happen again. That was a one-time thing, and besides, sex was the last thing on his mind right now for some reason. 

In fact, he hadn't even really _thought_ about sex since the Bushido backstage thing. The bastard still hadn't called, but right now, Gustav didn't care. He figured the other man had stuff to do in his very exciting life and couldn't be bothered to call him. Whatever. It wasn't like he really cared since his main focus at the moment was Tom. 

"How do I get Tom to like me?" he asked finally, looking over at Georg and leaning back. 

Georg's brows shot up. "Tom _does_ like you," he said slowly. 

Gustav rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean. Not the friend kind of like, the _like_ like kind of like." He paused. "Is it just me or did I just sound like a teen girl with a crush?"

Georg snorted. "It's not just you, no. And wait – are you seriously asking me for advice? How the hell am _I_ supposed to know how to make Tom fall in love with you? I don't know if Tom even falls in love – and if he does, he probably wouldn't fall in love with _you_."

Gustav narrowed his eyes, actually feeling a little offended. "Thank you."

Georg sighed and rolled his eyes. "You know that's not how I meant it," he sighed. "He likes you as a friend, but he's just not gay. I don't think so anyway." He frowned and looked thoughtful for a moment.

Gustav sighed. "I _know_ that, Georg. I don't want you to tell me why Tom isn't interested in me – I'd like to know how I can _make_ him interested."

Georg rubbed the back of his neck, then cursed when his fingers got stuck in his long hair. He set his beer down and pulled his hair back into a tail, then swung his legs onto the couch and leaned back. "Fuck, I don't know. Why would you ask _me_ of all people? Just because I have a long-lasting, healthy relationship doesn't mean I'm an expert at these things."

Gustav shrugged. "But you're the only one I know who knows _anything_ about real love, so I figured it wouldn't hurt to ask. Besides – you and Tom have this thing where you're really close and know everything about each other. So I figured if anyone knows how to make Tom swoon, it would be you."

Georg snorted over Gustav's use of the word 'swoon', and probably took a minute or two to imagine Tom doing just that, then shook his head. "I know him pretty well, but it's not like we talk about that kind of thing. Hasn't it occurred to you that Bill might be the more obvious person to ask here?"

Gustav looked down into his glass and shook his head. "Yeah, I don't wanna ask Bill about this. He can't keep a secret, and I don't want him to end up being the one to tell Tom. So… Bill is out. Which is why I need you – can we skip the randomness and get to the point?"

Georg sipped more beer, then sipped the foam off his upper lip. "What if there is no point? I mean… I don't know how you can get into Tom's pants, you don't wanna ask Bill, so I guess… I don't have a solution for you. I wish I had, but… I don't."

Gustav groaned; this wasn't helping. "Can't you at least give me some tips? I mean… I know how to get a guy to sleep with me – even a straight one. But how do you tell one of your best friends – who is straight _and_ completely unaware of your feelings for him – that you're kind of in love with him and want to have lots of sex and babies?"

He paused. "Well, maybe not babies. Though Tom would be a cute dad."

He groaned again and buried his face in his hands. "Oh my god, I sound like such a _girl_ , honestly. I kind of hate Tom for doing this to me; maybe I should tell him _that_."

Georg looked amused. "Or maybe you shouldn't. I don't think that would go over very well. But…" He trailed off and looked thoughtful again, then reached for his jacket, pulled out a pack of cigarettes and lit one. He inhaled deeply, nibbling his bottom lip. "I'm not sure what kind of tips you're looking for, to be honest. When I've liked a girl, I just asked her out, we dated for a while, and when I started feeling more for her, I just… told her. It's always best to be honest and direct, in my opinion."

Gustav reached over and stole Georg's cigarette just as he was about to take a drag, and took one himself instead. Then he blew it out and handed the cigarette back, trailing his finger around the rim of his beer glass. "So what you're saying," he said slowly, "is that next time I see him, I should just go up to him, take him aside and tell him that I'm gay, have feelings for him and want to have a relationship with him?"

Georg shrugged. "Well… yeah. Basically."

Gustav bit his lip thoughtfully, then looked over at him, rolled his eyes and sighed. "That's a terrible idea. I can't just do that."

"Well, then I can't help you," Georg said, folding his arms over his chest and shrugging. 

Gustav nibbled his lip and sighed. "I'm sorry. I'm not saying you were completely unhelpful but…" Another sigh, "I guess I'll just have to find a way myself. And maybe I shouldn't do it right away anyway. Maybe I should think about it some more. Maybe I'll be over him tomorrow."

Georg raised a brow. "Do you really think that's gonna be the case?"

Gustav was silent for a long moment, then shook his head. "Sadly… no."

He changed the subject then, talking about band-related things instead because constantly thinking about Tom and his unrequited love made him kind of depressed. He thought about it too much already; there was no need for him to ruin a fun evening with his best friend. 

He would probably think about it later in bed, though… which wasn't something he was looking forward to, either. So he drank beer after beer in order to make sure that he would pass out right away and right here on this couch, and wouldn't _have_ to think about anything anymore. 

At least not until he woke up the next day.


	11. Irresistible Temptation

"Our performance was so fucking amazing!" Tom exclaimed in the van on their way from the venue to the hotel, that huge grin that always made Gustav fall even more in love with him on his face. The latter looked at Tom with a dreamy smile, and got Georg's elbow in his ribs for his troubles. He gave him a look and shrugged; it wasn't like he could make Tom stop being adorable, right? Right. 

"Did you see when I...," Tom started, and then proceeded to tell them for the third time how he'd made his crazy jump on stage that had made all the fangirls scream louder than ever before. Gustav merely smiled, listening to Tom's retelling of his incredible move. 

If anyone else had told that story for the third time in a row, he would've been annoyed and told them in no uncertain terms that they were getting on his fucking nerves and to please shut up. But when Tom was doing it, he didn't mind – for obvious reasons. 

He glanced over at Bill and Georg who were rolling their eyes when Tom just wouldn't shut up but after a moment, Gustav just went back to watching the object of his deepest affection and desires, and sighed appreciatively. 

Tom always looked gorgeous after shows. His eyes were wild, the smile on his face huge and infectious, and the slight sheen of sweat on his face was also ridiculously sexy. Gustav wanted to lean in and lick a trail up Tom's neck but obviously knew that that would probably be considered weird. 

He blinked and instead focused on the smiles Tom was giving him; and that was the moment he decided that tonight would be the night. A month had passed since the night he'd decided to finally make a move on Tom, but he'd never managed to go through with it. But tonight, he was telling him and if it was the last thing he did. That way, it would be out in the open, and even if Tom decided to hate him for it, it was better not to keep a big secret like that. Besides, if Tom rejected him, Gustav would finally be able to move on, and that could only be a good thing. 

They arrived at the hotel a couple of minutes later, got out of the car and signed a few autographs outside the hotel before going inside. Gustav was about to ask Tom if he could come to his room when Bill grabbed his shoulder and leaned in. "Hey," he said softly. "Can I come to your room later? There's something I want to talk to you about."

Gustav froze. And panicked. Did Bill know about his crush on Tom? Had he found out somehow? Had Georg told him? No, he'd promised he wouldn't. What else could Bill want to talk to him about? Gustav watched Bill for a moment, then glanced over at Tom who was talking to Georg. 

He finally nodded. "Sure, Bill. I was just gonna go hang out with Tom for a bit, but you can come over later?" He obviously couldn't tell Bill that if things worked in his favour tonight, he might want to spend the whole night with Tom. 

Bill nodded. "Sure, that works for me. I have to take a shower anyway, and you know that can take a while." He gave him a smile, then glanced up at the huge clock in the hotel lobby. "Would half past eleven work for you?"

Gustav looked up at the clock as well; it was 11 o'clock now, which gave him half an hour to go over to Tom's and confess. He could shower later when Bill was gone. He nodded. "That should be okay, yeah. Any hints what this is about?"

Bill smiled, shaking his head. "No, later."

He kissed Gustav's cheek, then went upstairs. Gustav looked after him and shrugged, then walked over to Georg and Tom who were still talking about something. 

"Tom, can I-"

"Hey, do you wanna go out?" Tom interrupted him, still beaming. Tom was always in the best moods after concerts, and Gustav loved his big smiles. He stared at Tom's mouth for a moment, wondering what his lips would feel like beneath his own, then blinked and focused on Tom's question. 

"Go out?"

Tom nodded. "Yeah, Georg and I were gonna go to a club or something; wanna join us?"

Gustav sighed inwardly. If Tom went out, he would get drunk, so tonight was clearly not the right night to tell him. He wondered if he was _ever_ going to get this done. It was getting frustrating. 

He shook his head. "No, you two go ahead. I'm pretty tired, so I'll see you tomorrow at breakfast."

Tom rolled his eyes. "Your loss! Then we're gonna have fun on our own," he said to Georg, and the two of them walked to the elevators. 

Gustav stared after them and tried not to think about how he could interpret that statement. The thought of Tom's legs wrapped around Georg's waist, yelling Georg's name when he should be moaning Gustav's… It made him more than a little jealous. 

But it wasn't like that was going to happen anyway; Georg had his girlfriend and Tom wasn't gay. 

He was about to make his way to the elevators as well when he felt warm breath on the back of his neck and heard a warm, low voice in his ear, "Looks like it's gonna be just the two of us tonight. Good. Orgies aren't really my thing."

Gustav shivered, and then he felt large, firm hands on his hips and his eyes widened. He whirled around and came face to face with – who else? – Bushido who was smirking down at him and looking infuriatingly sexy. 

Gustav opened his mouth, caught completely off guard. What the hell was he doing here? He hadn't heard from the other man for over a month, and now he suddenly showed up and acted like nothing had happened, and…

And now his hand was creeping down Gustav's back, towards his ass, and Gustav registered that they were in the lobby and that the fans outside still had their faces pressed against the windows, and if any of this came out, it would be… well, it wouldn't be good. It would possibly be a disaster, so Gustav acted fast, pushed Bushido into a dark alcove with some payphones. 

He pressed him against the wall and waited for a few seconds to make sure no one had seen them or was following them, and then turned to Bushido, who was raising an eyebrow slowly and licking his lips. "You seem to like this whole dominant pressing-men-against-walls thing, don't you?"

Gustav growled. "What the fuck are you doing here?" he hissed. "You haven't called for a fucking month, and then you show up here out of the fucking blue, expecting me to, what, spread my legs for you and tell you how much I've missed you? What the _fuck_?"

Bushido looked stunned. "Wow, you're actually angry. Which is kind of hot, I have to admit, but… The way you looked on stage, I was pretty sure you'd taken out all your aggressions on that big drum of yours. Huh."

"Damn right I'm angry, and- wait, what?" Gustav blinked, and actually forgot to scowl for a moment. He tried to process what Bushido had just said and frowned. "Wait, you were at the concert?"

Bushido leaned back and nodded, that smug smirk still on his lips. "Yeah."

Gustav eyed him. "Why?"

Bushido snorted and rolled his eyes. "Why not? It's a free country; are you telling me I'm not allowed to go to a Tokio Hotel concert when I feel like it?"

Gustav shook his head. "No, I'm just… surprised." He cleared his throat and pushed Bushido against the wall again. "That still doesn't change the fact that you've acted like a petulant child for the past month and have ignored me since you didn't get what you wanted."

"Who says I didn't get what I wanted?" Bushido asked. "And maybe I didn't mean to _ignore_ you, but was just busy. I have a job, you know? I make music and go on tour, too. Maybe I don't have the time to stalk a scowly – though admittedly cute – little drummer 24/7. Weren't you the one who told me on that first night that I'd be the one to fall for you and that you never called back or did the same person twice? Yet right now you're making it sound like you actually _did_ miss me and were waiting by the phone for me to call."

He arched a brow, and Gustav felt himself blushing. "Shut up," he muttered. "I wasn't waiting by the phone and I definitely did _not_ miss you. You're not as irresistible as you think you are."

Except that he was. And now that Gustav was standing this close to him, he realized that he _had_ missed the bastard. Maybe not consciously but he couldn't deny that Bushido's presence and his fucking amazing smell made him kind of excited. Damn. 

He made to step back, but before he could, one of those large hands had wrapped around his wrist and was pulling him flush against Bushido's chest. He tried to free himself but Bushido's grip was relentless and fuck, Gustav was hard. He hated that Bushido had this power over him, so why the hell was he _hard_. 

Bushido leaned in, his breath hot on his face, and Gustav swallowed hard. This was not working according to plan. He wanted to punch the stupid smirk out of the other man, but when Bushido's arm slipped around his waist, the only thing he could do was tilt his face up so Bushido could cover his lips with his own. 

A soft, low sound escaped Gustav's lips as he let Bushido kiss him, and it didn't take long for him to respond to the kiss hungrily. Bushido's tongue invaded his mouth and Gustav pressed harder against him, rubbing his own tongue against Bushido's. 

He gasped when he Bushido suddenly reversed their positions and his back hit the wall as the other man's hard body pressed against him. He moaned into his mouth and reached between Bushido's legs, feeling the hard bulge in the other man's pants. 

Bushido broke the kiss and let his head fall back, moaning silently, and Gustav stared at him. It should be forbidden to make him want someone this much, especially when the reasonable part of his brain was telling him to leave and that this wasn't a good idea at all. 

Sadly, Gustav's brain rarely won this battle and his body took over, taking what it wanted with no consideration of the consequences. 

Warm brown eyes were looking down at him and Gustav swallowed hard, squeezing Bushido's cock firmly and pressing his lips against Bushido's exposed throat. He sucked on it, feeling the vibration when Bushido stifled another moan. 

He unfastened Bushido's trousers, tugging them down over his hips and wrapping his hand around Bushido's cock while Bushido was fumbling to do the same to Gustav. His hands were a little shaky, and Gustav couldn't suppress a tiny smirk at the knowledge that he was doing this to the other man. 

The air between them was hot as their mouths met in another hard kiss, and knowing that anyone could catch them at any second only made it all the more exciting. Gustav bit Bushido's tongue hard as both of their hands moved fast and rough on each other's cocks. 

"You're so fucking sexy," Bushido murmured into his ear when the kiss broke again. "It was hard to stay awake from you for a whole month. Been wanking myself raw thinking about you."

Gustav's breath hitched in his throat and he almost came right then and there, but before he could, Bushido batted his hand away and wrapped his hand around _both_ of them. Gustav let out a startled gasp, and the feel of his cock pressed against Bushido's was one of the hottest things he'd ever experienced. He swallowed hard and let his head fall back against the wall, staring at Bushido while the other man stroked them both roughly. 

Another quick smirk graced Bushido's lips as he leaned in and sucked Gustav's bottom lip, and that, combined with a little squeeze and twist of his hand was enough to finally send them both over the edge, and Gustav's potentially loud moan was muffled by Bushido's lips as they covered his own again. Gustav could feel warm, sticky come splash against his skin and both of them trembled a little, the kiss they shared lazy and almost gentle. 

Gustav was finally the first one to pull back and take a deep breath as his heart slowed down a little and the come cooled and began to dry on his skin. He wrinkled his nose a little but didn't bother to wipe himself up, and instead just stayed like that, trapped between the wall and Bushido, his forehead pressed against the older man's shoulder. 

He swallowed hard when Bushido's warm breath, and then his soft lips and prickly beard ghosted over his skin, making him shiver and want more. 

He tilted his chin up and kissed Bushido again, their lips brushing over each other, their tongues battling lazily. When Bushido pulled back, Gustav embarrassed himself by letting out a completely unmanly whine, and when he opened his eyes, he saw another one of Bushido's annoying smirks, and sighed. 

"Don't ruin this with a stupid comment about how irresistible you are, I'm warning you," he murmured, making Bushido laugh softly and press their foreheads together. 

"I wouldn't dream of it," he murmured, just as softly as Gustav, and Gustav swallowed. 

Oh god. Now he was being adorable, and that was not something he was prepared for. He bit his lip, and then had to break the eye contact before he said something stupid. 

He reached down and tugged his underwear and jeans back up and watched the other man do the same. Then they stood there for a couple of minutes, neither really sure what to say. Gustav rubbed the back of his neck and licked his lips. 

"I, uh. Yeah."

Bushido was watching him and leaned back against the other wall. "I would ask to come up to your room, but sadly, I have an early meeting tomorrow morning."

"Oh," Gustav said, nodding – this was probably better than spending the night with Bushido. "Good. Okay. Then… bye."

He made to leave but was Bushido grabbed his hand and tugged him back for another brief kiss. "I won't stay away for a whole month this time, I promise," he murmured, and the slightly raspy tone of his voice sent shivers down Gustav's spine. 

"Maybe you should," he said quietly. He forced himself to step back, and took a breath. "Goodnight, Bushido."

He turned around to walk away when he heard Bushido say, "It's Anis for you. But goodnight."

He could feel Bushido's eyes on his back as he finally made his way over to the elevators and was glad when he had one to himself. He stared at himself in the mirror and looked just as stunned and confused as he felt. He rubbed the back of his neck and took another deep breath, then actually flinched a little when a voice sounded to announce that they'd arrived on his floor. 

Rolling his eyes at himself, he left the elevator and made his way through the maze of corridors to get to his room. When he walked around a corner that led to his room and looked up, his heart sank. He was faced with Bill who looked more than a little put out. 

He'd completely forgotten about him. Fuck. 

"Where the hell have you _BEEN_?"


	12. A Lot To Think About

Gustav swallowed hard; angry Bill wasn't something anyone should want to be around. He could get _furious_ , and it was never pretty. He took a breath, trying to come up with a good excuse, but his brain was still kind of mushy after his little escapade with the horny rapper downstairs, and it took a little longer than Bill had the patience for. 

"Why are you so flushed?" Bill asked, narrowing his eyes suspiciously. "Did you just have sex?"

His eyes widened. "With _Tom_?"

"No!" Gustav exclaimed immediately, shaking his head. "No, why would I… I wasn't at Tom's – he and Georg went out, and... I wasn't at Tom's."

Bill seemed relieved when he heard that, but was still scowling. "So who else did you have sex with? A fan?"

Gustav swallowed hard and pushed past him to open the door; he couldn't lie to Bill when he was looking straight into his eyes. It was impossible to look at that face and lie. "I wasn't having sex," he said finally when the door clicked and he pushed it open. "I went for a run."

He stepped aside to let Bill into the room, but Bill didn't budge. "You went for a run," he repeated slowly. "And you expect me to believe this. Do you think I'm stupid, Gustav?"

Gustav looked around anxiously; Bill was being really loud, and the last thing either of them needed was for one of their neighbours to overhear this conversation, recognize them and run to Bild the moment they could. "Bill, can we discuss this inside?" he asked softly, and Bill seemed to realize that they weren't at home, and nodded, entering the room. 

Gustav let out a relieved breath and closed the door behind him, making his way into the living-/bedroom and walked to the minibar, pouring himself a drink; he definitely needed one right now. But Bill was still staring at him, he could tell, and demanding an explanation that wasn't completely ridiculous. 

He took a sip of whiskey and turned around. "Okay, I didn't go for a run," he admitted. "But I wasn't having sex either."

Bill folded his arms over his chest, looking cross. "You have spunk on your pants, Gustav," he said, his lips barely moving. 

Gustav looked down and blinked. He did indeed have a bit of semen on his jeans and he wasn't sure how to explain that away. For some reason, he had a feeling that "It's pudding!" wouldn't convince Bill. 

He sighed and leaned against the table. "So I was having sex," he said quietly. "What of it? I don't see how it's any of your business."

Ouch. Wrong thing to say. Gustav realized that a second later when a look of intense jealousy mixed with obvious hurt crossed Bill's features. He opened his mouth to take back what he'd said, but Bill waved his hand, shaking his head. 

"No. You're right. Of course it's none of my business. You're only the boy I gave my virginity to and one of my best friends, but of course it's none of my business. What you do when you're not deflowering your band mates is none of my fucking business. Sorry – my mistake. I'll be leaving now."

He turned to do just that, and Gustav reached for his shoulder. "Bill, wait."

"Don't touch me," Bill hissed, whirling around, and that's when Gustav knew. 

He looked into Bill's deep brown eyes, saw the hurt in them mixed with something that looked like longing, and just knew. Knew that the thing he'd wanted to avoid, the thing he'd been dreading ever since he'd slept with Bill had happened. Bill was in love with him – or if he wasn't in love with him _yet_ , he'd definitely developed a little crush on him. 

_Fuck._

Why didn't he _ever_ listen to his brain when it told him not to do something? It would spare him so much trouble, honestly. 

He looked at Bill helplessly, not sure what to say – but he also didn't want to let Bill leave before this was cleared up. "Bill, I... I told you I don't fall in love, or not easily anyway. And I think you're beautiful and sweet, and any guy would be so lucky to have you but... I just don't feel that way about you."

Bill tugged his arm away and stepped back, looking at him incredulously, his cheeks flushing. "What the hell are you talking about? I'm not in love with you! Why would you even think that?"

Gustav looked doubtful for a moment, then shook his head – he wasn't wrong about this, and Bill was only denying it because he was embarrassed. Which was completely natural. 

"Billi…"

"No," Bill snapped. "Just leave me alone. Jesus, Gustav, you can't just go around assuming everyone's in love with you."

Gustav sighed. "I don't believe everyone's in love with me, Billi, but you have to admit that your reaction just now was kind of... well, if you weren't interested in me that way, you wouldn't get this jealous."

"Why would I be jealous of some random fan-boy you just fucked? Give me some credit, for fuck's sake," Bill huffed, folding his arms over his chest, and Gustav didn't correct Bill's assumption about whom he'd slept with. He had a feeling Bill wouldn't feel any better if he mentioned Bushido. 

Gustav nibbled his bottom lip. "Bill, this isn't an accusation, okay? And I'm not making fun of you – I just think we need to talk about this, if you have feelings for me. I know that I can't return your... well, whatever you want to call it, but I don't want anything to come between us. You're one of my best friends and you mean so much to me; I hate that I hurt you. I never wanted that to happen. But I just... can't. And I don't want our friendship to be ruined because I'm incapable of love."

He looked at him almost desperately, needing Bill to not hate him. 

Bill glanced over at him, and suddenly, his shoulders sagged and he looked defeated. He walked over to the table and reached for Gustav's glass, knocking his drink back in one go. Then he sank onto the bed, his shoulders slumped, looking down at his feet. He suddenly looked incredibly small and vulnerable and broken, and Gustav just wanted to wrap his arms around him, hold him and make all his pain go away. 

_The pain that you caused,_ his brain supplied helpfully, and Gustav swallowed hard. 

This was why he should never have gotten involved with anyone in the band. It had always been bound to fuck everything up, and now it actually _might_. 

He went over to the bed and sat down next to Bill. "I'm sorry," he said quietly, reaching over to touch the back of Bill's neck gently; he wasn't sure if touching him would make Bill feel better, or make everything worse. "I really didn't mean to hurt you and... I told you not to fall in love with me, right? I know you can't help that sort of thing but... I did warn you."

Bill nodded. "I know," he said softly. "And..." He hesitated. "This isn't your fault. I knew what I was getting into, and I know myself. I know that I fall in love easily and usually get my heart broken, so this is actually my own fault, not yours. I'm... sorry."

Gustav shook his head. "Bill, there's nothing you need to be sorry about, okay? I should've known better, and I took advantage of the situation... I just hate that I hurt you. I never meant to."

Bill finally looked up, meeting his eyes. "I know, Gustav. I know you wouldn't hurt anyone on purpose, especially not me or Georg or Tom. I just..."

He trailed off and looked thoughtful. "It's just that the night we spent together was so perfect. I felt like we had a real connection and I'm not sure I'm ever gonna have that again with anyone else."

Gustav rubbed his back. "Oh Billi, I'm sure you will," he said quietly. "I have to admit that I am pretty good in bed, but it's going to be so much more amazing for you when you meet The One. You're still looking for him, right? I'm not him. But I have a feeling you're going to meet him really soon, okay? Don't give up yet – you're still young. You will find him."

He leaned over and kissed Bill's cheek lightly. 

Bill looked at him with a little smile. "I don't know how you do this; you're so _confident_. I wish I could be half as confident as you are."

"You are, Bill," Gustav said softly. "You do your own thing and don't care what anyone thinks, most of the time. You're far more confident than I am, when it comes to most things."

The corner of Bill's mouth hitched up in a small smile. "You think?"

"Yes," Gustav said determinedly. "And even though you may get lonely and think you'll never find the right guy, you will. I know you will. You have so much love to give, and sooner or later, you'll find your boy."

Bill took a deep breath and nodded. "Okay. If you say so."

He leaned against Gustav's shoulder, and Gustav continued to stroke his hair lightly, nuzzling him. "So you're not mad at me anymore for forgetting we were gonna meet here tonight?"

Bill shook his head. "Nah, it's okay. I hope you had fun doing whatever you were doing with whoever you were doing it with." He glanced up. "Was it good?"

Gustav gave him a little smile. "It was."

Bill nodded, and Gustav kissed his temple. "So, what did you come here to tell me anyway? It sounded important."

Bill blushed. "Well... I was going to tell you. About... well, this. That I have a crush on you. And I was going to seduce you, but... looks like someone else was there before me."

Gustav shifted a little. "Yeah... and you were? That's... brave."

And it was. Bill was obviously much braver than _he_ was, since he couldn't seem to make himself go and tell Tom. He rubbed his neck and looked at Bill, who seemed sleepy. "Do you want to sleep here tonight? I could cuddle you; make it all better. I know Tom would be your first choice for that, but since he isn't here tonight..."

Bill considered it for a moment, then shook his head. "No... Don't be mad, okay? I just think it's better when I don't spend too much time with you right now. I need to get you out of my head and heart, so it's probably best if we aren't too close right now."

Gustav could see that and nodded. "All right."

Bill sniffed. "You stink. I should let you go have a shower. And I should get back to my room; I have a lot of thinking to do."

He rose to his feet, and Gustav, nodding, led him to the door, watching Bill walk away after they'd hugged and said goodbye. Bill had almost disappeared in his room when Gustav thought of something. "Bill! Hey, Bill?"

Bill glanced over his shoulder. 

"Do you feel better now that you've told me?"

Bill didn't seem to have to think about it, and just gave him a little smile. "I do."

Then he disappeared into his room, and Gustav realized that Bill wasn't the only one who had a lot to think about.


	13. What Is This Feeling?

Gustav did do a lot of thinking that night. After Bill had left, he took a quick shower – cold – and lay down on his bed, arms folded behind his head and staring up at the ceiling. Tonight had been more than a little eventful, and Gustav didn't know what to make of most of the things that had happened. 

First, he'd made the decision to tell Tom, but had ended up just accepting that tonight wasn't supposed to be the night. Because to be honest, he could've been a little more insistent. He could've told Tom that he needed to talk to him before he went out. If he'd really wanted him tonight (or at all), he would've done that. Instead, he'd chickened out again and just accepted that tonight, Tom was going out with Georg. 

Maybe he didn't really want Tom to know. Maybe he was a masochist. Maybe he actually enjoyed just looking at Tom like a lovesick puppy instead of doing something about that longing. Or maybe he was just a fucking coward. It couldn't really be that hard to tell the person you loved that you... well, loved them. Could it? Countless people did it every day, so it couldn't really be that hard. 

But it was. Gustav wasn't sure what the main reason for his hesitance was, but no matter how determined he was, he just couldn't seem to do it. 

And then there was Bushido. Who just kept showing up when Gustav least expected it, and rocked his fucking world. He couldn't deny it to himself anymore. Bushido was definitely a huge turn on to him, and if he was completely honest with himself, he also had to admit that he'd caught himself fantasizing about bottoming for Bushido sometimes. 

Which was unheard of. Gustav didn't bottom for anyone, least of all a smug rapper who thought he was all that. 

Yet tonight… It had undeniably been one of the hottest sexual encounters Gustav had ever had, and Bushido had actually been sweet for a few moments. 

Gustav scratched his forehead and wondered what was wrong with him, or how he'd managed to get himself into this mess. 

He was in love with Tom. 

Bill was in love with him. 

And he was really, really turned on and intrigued by Bushido. 

His life had gone from simple to really fucking complicated, and he wasn't sure how to deal with any of it. 

He was about to give up on thinking altogether and go to sleep when his phone vibrated. He glanced over at it and reached for it, his heart skipping a beat when it was a text from Bushido. 

_Still thinking about your hand on my cock. Wanna know what your mouth feels like when I shove my dick down your throat…_

Gustav stared at the text, and part of him was disgusted by the crudeness of the other man's vocabulary while another part – the bigger one – was completely and hugely turned on. Fuck. 

He stared at the text for a moment, not sure what to do, then put his phone away. He was too confused to do anything right now. 

A few moments later, however, his phone rang again, and Gustav sighed as he read Bushido's next text. 

_Now I'm thinking about you on your hands and knees, possibly tied to the bed, as I plunge into you again and again… Bet you're really, really tight, babe…_

That made Gustav swallow again. Because he should definitely not be turned on by this. He was a top. He'd never bottomed in his life, and he definitely wasn't going to spread his legs for Bushido of all people. He looked down at his treacherous cock, then pressed down on it, willing it to go down. 

Obviously, it refused to obey. 

He sighed and looked at the texts again, still not sure what to do. 

The effect Bushido had on him kind of scared him. He didn't like that Bushido already had that kind of power over his body, and was beginning to gain the same power over his mind. He couldn't let that happen, so he hit 'reply' and with some hesitation, wrote back. 

_I don't think we should do this anymore._

The moment he'd hit 'send', he wondered why he'd done it. Why would he break things off with the person he seemed to have the most in common with – who also happened to be the person who turned him on more than anyone else? Why didn't he just enjoy Bushido while it lasted, and then dumped him when he got tired of him?

He bit his lip as he debated this and waited for the text. It took a few minutes before he got a reply, and he was almost afraid to open the text. 

_And why is that?_

Gustav bit his lip. He didn't have a good answer to that. Anything he could say meant opening up to Bushido in a way he didn't want to. If he admitted that he liked him a little too much, Bushido would be smug – or would lose interest in him. And Gustav couldn't let that happen. _He_ was the one who dumped his partners, not the other way around. 

He nibbled his bottom lip, then wrote back. 

_Has the idea that I may just not want you anymore ever occurred to you?_

This time, the reply was quick. 

_No. That's not possible. Your body told me everything I needed to know earlier. So there has to be another reason for your sudden change of mind, and I'm pretty sure it's the fact that you're gonna bottom when we finally get to be alone for more than a few minutes. Am I right or am I right?_

Gustav glared at the text. _You're right – I'm not bottoming for anyone, but that's not the reason why I don't want to see you anymore. I just don't feel like it anymore, all right? I hate how you just kind of jump at me randomly and expect me to go along with whatever you come up with. Besides, the next few weeks and months are going to be pretty busy, so I won't have the time._

He shoved his phone under the pillow next to him and bit his lip. Why was he doing this? Why was he lying to Bushido? He didn't understand his own motives anymore, and that was… well, bad. 

_Huh. You do realize that I won't give up that easily, right?_

Gustav sighed. _You should, cause this is not going to happen anymore. Goodnight._

He was about to roll around and finally try to fall asleep, when his phone rang once more. 

_I want you, Gustav. And when I want something, I get it. Sleep tight – I'll see you soon._

Gustav stared at the text, and his cock gave another little twitch. Fuck that man, honestly. Who did he think he was? And why did Gustav _like_ this kind of attitude? Fuck. 

He turned his phone off and put it on his bedside table, wiggling into a comfortable position in his bed. He lay there like that for long minutes, his eyes closed. 

Then he groaned. "Oh, fuck you!"

He shoved the sheets away, rolled onto his back and thrust his hand under the sheets, wrapping it around his cock and stroking himself fast and without finesse. And he was definitely not thinking about Bushido. 

Not even a little.

***

"You did _what_ in the hotel lobby???"

Georg stared at him aghast, and Gustav couldn't suppress a little smirk. Maybe he should tell Georg about his sexual escapades a little more often; he enjoyed seeing the horrified expression on his friend's face. Some experiences he'd made were so kinky that they shocked even _him_ ; he could only imagine how Georg would react to them. 

The thought made him grin, and Georg poked him in the arm. "Who with?"

Gustav blinked. "Oh, um. Just some guy I've been seeing occasionally."

Georg eyed him. "Do I know him?"

Gustav shook his head in reply, keeping his face neutral. Obviously he couldn't tell Georg about Bushido and his confusion when it came to the older man; he couldn't imagine how Georg would react to that. Maybe he didn't give Georg enough credit and he would be completely fine with it – but right now Gustav preferred to keep Bushido his secret. 

His dirty little secret. 

He sighed. "He's just some guy. And it's over anyway – we're both tops, so that's not gonna work, you know?"

Georg frowned at that for a moment, then his brows rose in understanding. "Ohh. I see. Okay, so you and some guy got it on in the hotel lobby. What else?"

Gustav rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, Bill is in love with me."

Georg stared at him for a moment and sighed. "I had a feeling this would happen, to be honest."

"You did?" Gustav raised a brow. "Why?"

Georg shrugged. "Because Bill is like a puppy; desperate for love. Give him a little finger and he wants the whole hand. You know how he is. He gets ridiculously attached to people and ends up getting hurt – you really should've known that before you ever jumped into bed with him."

Gustav narrowed his eyes. "I didn't 'jump into bed with him'. It wasn't like the sex I usually have; it was more… well, it was just different, okay? Meaningful, sort of. But not as meaningful as Bill wants it to be, obviously. So… don't make it sound so crass."

Georg rolled his eyes. "Sorry, Mr Sensitive. I was just saying – you should've known what you were getting into."

"I did," Gustav murmured. "I just hoped he wouldn't fall for me. I mean, he knows me. He knows all the bad stuff about me, and I just didn't think I was his type at all."

Georg shook his head. "It has nothing to do with type. Bill is needy – he needs affection and love. You gave it to him – for one night, at least. And now he's got a taste for it and wants more, and wrongly thinks he's in love with you."

Gustav pouts. "Oh, so under normal circumstances he wouldn't have fallen for me?"

Georg paused. "Isn't that what you just said? That you didn't think Bill was gonna fall for you because he knows you too well, and you aren't his type?"

Gustav shrugged. "I don't know. I'm not making a lot of sense right now – I'm sorry."

Georg slid an arm around him and petted his hair, making Gustav almost purr because it felt so good. "Anything else you want to talk about?"

Gustav again considered mentioning Bushido, but decided against it and just said, "It's just all a little much, you know? I went from casual sex to sleeping with Bill, developing a hardcore crush on Tom, and… well, the guy I mentioned earlier? The hotel lobby guy? He kind of confuses the fuck out of me too, so I'm just…"

"Confused?" Georg supplied helpfully, and Gustav nodded. 

"Exactly. And frustrated with my life. Everything used to be so easy, and now everything is fucked up. I still don't know what to do about Tom, and while I told that other guy to fuck off, I also kind of don't want things to be over – but the fact that they _are_ does make it easier and…"

He trailed off and buried his face in Georg's neck. 

"Aww," his friend said, petting his hair some more. "You'll figure it out, Gustav. I know this is all new to you, but people actually deal with these things every day. So just… take your time, figure out what it _is_ you want, and then do whatever you have to do to get it – whether it's Tom or that other guy. I'm sure that in the end, things will work out."

Gustav took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. He sure as hell hoped that Georg was right; he wasn't sure how much longer he could take this if it something _didn't_ happen soon.


	14. Must've Been Love

It was the night of their weekly get-together when it happened.

Even though the four of them spent almost all of their time together, they had decided years ago that at least once a week, they were going to spend some quality time together and watch a movie or go out or do whatever they felt like at the time. Sometimes they went clubbing, sometimes they just stayed in and played some card game, or watched TV.

Tonight was movie night, and it was the twins' turn to pick two films. Tom chose some comedy that Gustav didn't know the name of; it wasn't bad, though. Bill, however, picked The Notebook – "his favourite movie ever, ever, ever!" – and after telling them, in great detail, what was going to happen in every scene – which wasn't necessary at all, considering Bill had forced them all to watch the film about twenty times before – Bill had fallen asleep on Georg's shoulder, who was also drifting off.

Gustav looked over at them and grinned, nudging Tom, who was sitting next to him. Tom blinked and met Gustav's eyes for a moment before looking over at them as well, and rolling his eyes. "Typical," he murmured. "He picks the movie, falls asleep, and we end up having to watch it on our own. Honestly…"

Gustav nodded. "Yeah. I think he's secretly bored with the movie already and only suggests it every time to torture us. He's probably _planning_ on falling asleep during the first few minutes."

Tom grinned. "I wouldn't put it past him, to be honest."

There was a brief moment of silence as Tom looked back at the screen, and Gustav didn't. He liked looking at Tom. For obvious reasons.

Tom cleared his throat and shifted. "We can watch something else, though, if you want. I know you hate this kind of movie, so…"

Gustav shrugged. "I don't mind. There's nothing on today – I checked earlier. So we might as well watch this. Unless you want to switch."

Tom shook his head. "No, it's fine. I just figured you might want to."

He licked his lips and Gustav watched him thoughtfully, wondering what was going on in Tom's head right now. He looked like he was deep in thought; more focused on whatever was going on in his mind than the actual movie. 

What Gustav wouldn't give to be able to read people's minds sometimes. It would make his life a hell of a lot easier.

He glanced back at the screen, and silence fell over them as they watched a few more scenes. Gustav risked another glance at Georg and Bill; both of them were fully asleep now. He leaned back and stretched.

He suddenly felt nervous and uncomfortable, which was irritating. What was there to be nervous about anyway? It wasn't like he and Tom were alone in the same room for the first time – not to mention that they _weren't_ really alone in the first place. They were just the only ones awake.

He sighed inwardly, wondering not for the first time in recent weeks, what the fuck was actually wrong with him. 

"Did you watch the game last night?" Tom suddenly asked, and Gustav looked at him, realizing after a moment that Tom was talking about football. 

"Oh. Yeah, you too?" When Tom nodded, Gustav grinned. "Pretty boring, right?"

Tom snorted and nodded. "Yeah, it was. I can't believe I watched the whole thing only for it to end 0-0. But I was bored and couldn't sleep, so…"

He trailed off. Gustav raised a brow. "Why couldn't you sleep? Something bothering you?"

Tom shook his head. "No, not really. It was just one of those nights, you know? My brain wouldn't shut up and I wasn't tired and it was too hot… I just couldn't sleep."

Gustav nodded. "Yeah, I know that kind of night."

They smiled at each other until Tom bit his lip and looked back at the screen. Gustav did the same but it didn't take long before he was staring at Tom again, unable to help himself. He'd even moved a little closer to him unconsciously, and had his arm draped across the back of the couch, so it was almost like he had his arm around Tom's shoulders.

He could pretend they were boyfriends, watching a romantic movie together...

He rolled his eyes at himself and slid down on the couch a little, focusing back on the movie. But after a while, he got the distinct feeling that someone was staring at him, and when he turned his head, his suspicion was confirmed as his eyes met Tom's.

They stared at each other, and Gustav's heart skipped a beat because you could almost _see_ the sudden tension between them. The silence between them stretched and neither of them could seem to look away. Gustav didn't _want_ to look away. All he wanted to do was lean in and kiss Tom.

And then he realized that there might never be a more perfect moment. Maybe this was the only chance he'd get - and Gustav had never let the opportune moment pass by. And before he could think about it, consider the consequences or change his mind, he leaned in and pressed his lips against Tom's in a long, hard kiss. 

For a long moment, nothing happened - Tom froze and seemed completely stunned. But then Gustav watched in astonishment as the other boy's eyelids fluttered closed and he let himself fall into the kiss. Gustav resisted the urge to sigh in relief, and closed his own eyes, parted his lips and kissed him fully, their lips brushing against each other gently.

Gustav's heart was racing; he'd never felt anything like this before, and especially not during a kiss as simple as this one.

Afraid that Tom was going to come to his senses any second, Gustav wanted to make the most of this; he cupped the back of Tom's neck and deepened the kiss slowly, a silent moan catching in his throat when Tom parted his lips and gave into him.

This was going far better than he'd expected, and Gustav brushed his fingers over the back of Tom's neck as he slipped his tongue into the other boy's mouth, his stomach fluttering when it brushed Tom's. Tom's lip ring pressed against his own lip felt really sexy; he'd kissed boys with lip rings before but it had never had this effect on him.

Their tongues tangled slowly, almost lazily, but it was the most erotic kiss Gustav could remember ever sharing with anyone. Maybe it was the fact that he was in love with Tom, or maybe it was just that Tom was an incredibly good kisser; either way it was so much _more_ than he could've wished for.

He stroked Tom's neck with light fingertips and wrapped an arm around him, pressing their mouths together more firmly and sighing when the kiss grew more heated. Tom reached for his arms and squeezed them lightly, and now, Gustav was undeniably hard. He wanted to push Tom down and rub himself all over him, but wasn't sure if Tom would appreciate that, or if it would be taking things too far.

So he focused on the kiss and told his cock to be patient.

They kissed for long minutes before they both needed air, and Gustav reluctantly drew back. He pressed their foreheads together and took a deep breath, his heart still beating fast, his breath coming in short little gasps – as did Tom's.

The fact that Tom wasn't letting go of him made Gustav realize that there was going to be more kissing; Tom had apparently enjoyed it just as much as he had, if the fact that their lips were still almost touching was any indication. Gustav wanted to do a little happy dance - an urge he'd never ever felt before. 

Was it possible that this was really happening? Could it be that Tom actually wanted him the way _he_ wanted Tom? Or had Gustav fallen asleep and was having some sort of wet dream while Tom sat next to him, laughing at him.

But no – if this was a dream, it would be the most fucking realistic dream he'd ever had, and Gustav didn't dream much to begin with. So this had to be real. 

Holy fuck.

He brushed a kiss over Tom's nose, then rubbed the tips of their noses together in a, for him, surprisingly gentle Eskimo kiss. Then he took a deep breath, and whispered, "I love you."

And suddenly, things changed, and the air between them almost felt icy. He could feel Tom's entire body tense and draw back, and Gustav felt his own heart sink at the sudden move. He opened his eyes and met Tom's, who was staring at him in complete shock.

Gustav stared back, feeling his cheeks heat up and his whole body freeze. This wasn't good. This was definitely _not_ good. Wishing he could take back what he'd just said, or claim Tom had misunderstood him, Gustav just looked back at Tom, hoping he wasn't going to punch him or something.

He didn't.

Instead, Tom opened his mouth. "I have to go," he whispered, jumping to his feet with surprising speed and agility, and bolted out of the room. The door fell closed with heavy thump, and Gustav stared at the spot where Tom had just disappeared in shock, trying to understand.

They'd kissed. It had been a fucking _intense_ kiss, beyond anything Gustav had ever experienced before. Tom had kissed him back, had seemed into it - so why was he suddenly running? He'd wanted it, right? Gustav hadn't forced him to kiss him; Tom had kissed him back willingly, and had seemed to enjoy it… didn't that mean that Tom kind of had feelings for him too? What _did_ it mean?

He buried his face in his hands, rubbed his face tiredly and tried to make the sinking feeling in his stomach go away. It was the 'I love you' that had ruined it all. He should have known. Why had he even _said_ that to Tom? He hadn't been planning it; it had just happened. And now Tom probably hated him and was never going to speak to him again, and Gustav had basically just fucked up one of the most amazing friendships he'd ever had.

How could he be so fucking _stupid_?!


	15. Loneliest Day Of My Life

After crying himself to sleep (well, not actually crying because Gustav didn't cry – ever) that same night, Gustav woke up with the most horrible headache he'd ever had. He felt like someone was banging tiny hammers against his forehead, and just wanted to go back to sleep. But sadly, that wasn't an option. There was an interview on their schedule, which meant he had to face Tom. And Bill. Tom and Bill together. Could his life get any worse?

He was pretty sure that Tom had already told Bill about the previous night, so now he expected both twins to be pissed at him. Which maybe, he deserved.

It took ten long minutes before Gustav could finally roll out of bed. He resisted the urge to pour himself a stiff drink, and instead opted for a litre of water and some aspirin. Fortunately, it worked and he felt a little better after a long shower. 

Then it was time for breakfast. As he made his way down the corridor, he found himself hoping he would get attacked or knocked out before he managed to get downstairs – which obviously didn't happen. Where were the crazy fangirls when you needed them?

Gustav entered their private breakfast room sometime later, and swallowed hard when the other three were already there. Tom was sitting at the table, looking pensive, next to Georg, who clearly had no idea why the other boy was so quiet, and Bill was standing at their private buffet, loading up.

Okay. Basically, Gustav had two options. He could go over there, grab some food and pretend that everything was all right; that nothing had happened the previous night. Which might be the best thing to do at this point. But he also knew that he couldn't just let this be; he had to talk to Tom and ask what was going on and why he'd run away.

Taking a deep breath, he walked towards the table and cleared his throat. "Morning. Um, Tom, can I talk to you for a moment?"

Tom looked up slowly and couldn't even meet Gustav's eyes.

Fuck. He'd really screwed this up, hadn't he?

"Please," he added softly.

Tom just looked down again, his cheeks flushing a little. "I don't want to right now."

Gustav bit his lip. "Tom, please – can we just-"

"Didn't you hear him?" snapped Bill, who was now standing behind Tom, his eyes narrowed, brow furrowed. "He doesn't want to talk to you."

Ahh. So Gustav had been right – Tom _had_ told Bill, by the looks of it. Fuck, this really wasn't good.

He looked at Bill who just stared at him with what looked suspiciously like disgust, and while Gustav really wanted to insist, grab Tom and take him outside to explain what had happened the previous night, Bill clearly wasn't going to let him. That boy was _fierce_ when he got all protective of Tom. 

So sadly, Gustav had to let it go for now. 

He nodded, sitting down while Georg was looking between them curiously. When their eyes met, Gustav gave him a shrug and got a 'what the fuck?' look from Georg in return. Gustav shrugged again and mouthed, "I'll tell you later."

Georg still looked curious but nodded.

They had never been this quiet during breakfast; the silence in the dining room was almost eery. Gustav desperately wanted to say something, but couldn't think of anything that could lift the mood. So he shoved his food around on his plate, watching Tom who never looked up again, and Bill, who seemed… irate, to say the least.

Great.

After breakfast, the twins went back up to their hotel rooms to get ready to leave while Georg stayed behind, and gave Gustav a look that left no room for interpretation. He wanted to know what the fuck was going on. NOW. "How did you two manage to get from normal to _this_ in one night? What the hell _happened_? Or better yet – what did you _do_ to piss them off like that?"

Gustav sipped his coffee and nibbled his lip. "I kissed Tom."

Georg's eyes widened comically and his jaw dropped. "Wha– when? How?"

Gustav sighed. "Last night. The Notebook? You and Bill fell asleep. And Tom was staring at me, and I just… I had to do something about it. So I kissed him."

"And got slapped?"

Gustav frowned. "No, actually. He seemed pretty into it. We were probably making out for like, twenty minutes before we had to breathe, and then…" He sighed. "Then I told him I'm in love with him, and he bolted."

Georg was still staring. "He kissed you _back_?"

"Yes."

"And then you told him and he ran."

"Yes."

"Huh." Georg rubbed the back of his neck, thinking, then leaned back. "Well, there are a few explanations, actually. One – he kissed you back automatically, kind of forgetting who you are, and you telling him you're in love with him just shocked him out of his trance, and that's why he ran. Two – he actually is gay or bi and liked kissing you, but you telling him you're in love with him was just a little too much for him. Or three – he's actually in love with you and freaked out because it was way too soon for you to tell him."

He leaned back, looking satisfied, and Gustav snorted. "I bet it's option one."

"I actually think it might be three," Georg admitted. "He didn't look pissed this morning; mostly just confused. _Bill_ was pissed, probably because he thinks you were using him to sleep with someone pretty much like Tom. Or maybe he's just cranky for some other reason. You never know with Bill. Anyway... So maybe your confession made Tom think about the whole thing and now he just needs to figure out how he feels about you, and then everything will cool down and things will go back to normal – or he'll actually throw himself at you and you live happily ever after."

Gustav raised a brow. "Do you actually think that's going to happen?"

Georg shrugged. "It's possible."

Gustav sighed. "You're naïve, Georg. I just don't think I'm that lucky."

He looked down into his cup and swallowed hard when the twins came back to get them for their interview.

*****

The rest of the day was more than a little awkward, and sadly, the next days were no different. Every time Gustav tried to catch Tom on his own to try and talk to him, Tom found some excuse to leave the room, and Bill was protecting him like a guard dog. Bill actually still seemed pissed at him as well, and Gustav was frustrated; frustrated with the situation; frustrated with his whole fucking life.

He'd screwed everything up and there seemed to be no hope of anything ever going back to normal again. 

The fact that they had a few days off – days that the twins spent together on their own, and Georg's girlfriend had joined them to spend a little time (or all of the time) with Georg – didn't make things any better. For the first time in his life, Gustav didn't know what to do and felt terribly alone – lonely, even. It was like the three most important people in his life had suddenly all turned their back on him, and he didn't like this one bit. 

Of course he technically knew that Georg was still on his side, but that was beside the point.

Being alone all day gave him way too much time to think and be sad. His heart had been broken and he hated the feeling that came with it. He felt like nothing would ever be all right again. He was tired of everything; food tasted weird to him and he didn't even feel like getting drunk and going out to fuck some random stranger. He'd never thought love sickness could actually be this bad – but it was worse.

After spending two whole days on his own, mostly in bed drinking beer and eating chips, Gustav decided that he couldn't take it anymore. He needed to get out of here and just move on. 

He wasn't sure where to go or what else to do, though. But while he was showering and making himself presentable, he suddenly had an idea and just _knew_ where he wanted to be right now. 

So he made a phone call and it didn't take long before he had the information he needed. He got dressed, then made his way to the address he'd received, and swallowed hard when he stood in front of the building.

It took a moment for him to manage to ring the doorbell since he wasn't sure it was a good idea for him to actually be here. He wasn't sure what he wanted or expected of the man he was visiting; he just knew he couldn't be around Georg and the super-hostile twins. So he had come here, and was now waiting. 

And when the door opened, he was greeted by a very surprised face.

"Hey," he said quietly. "Can I come in?"

The other man looked at him in silence for a long moment, then nodded.

"Sure," was his reply, and Bushido stepped aside to let him in.


	16. No More Games

They stood in the entrance hall of Bushido's place in silence for about five minutes before Bushido finally looked at Gustav and raised a brow. "So… I didn't expect to see you today. Or ever."

He frowned for a moment and looked at Gustav curiously.

"I know," Gustav said. 

He'd done a great job of ignoring the other man's text messages – and he'd received quite a number of them. Most of them were dirty, and yes, more than once, he had been tempted to respond and tell the rapper in no uncertain terms what he thought of him – but in the end, he'd decided not to go there. Because he'd wanted to focus on Tom, and… yeah. Where had that gotten him?

He sighed and rubbed his face. 

"As surprising as it may sound," Bushido said after a moment," I'm actually a pretty good listener, and you look like you have something big going on, so… if you want to talk, I'm here. I'm not _only_ good for sex, you know?"

He gave him a little smirk, and Gustav couldn't help smiling back. "Really."

Bushido nodded. "Yep. So how about I get you a drink and you tell me what's going on?"

He didn't wait for a reply and turned around to go into the kitchen to fetch that drink. But Gustav didn't _want_ to talk about anything right now – he was sick of talking. Before Bushido was out of reach, he grabbed his wrist, turned him around, slammed him against the nearest wall and kissed him hard. 

Bushido seemed stunned for a moment, but then cupped Gustav's cheeks and kissed him back just as passionately, lips pressed together bruisingly hard, tongues tangling. He ran his hands down Gustav's back and cupped his ass, squeezing it and eliciting a soft moan from Gustav. 

He pressed against the older man, desperate for physical contact. 

Not breaking the kiss for even a second, they stumbled their way into the living room, losing a few clothes on their way there. Gustav touched the other man hungrily, overwhelmed by his sudden desire for him. Because it _was_ all for him. He wasn't here to pretend he was with Tom – in fact, Tom was the last person he wanted to think about right now. No, he was only thinking of the man he was actually kissing – and this time, nothing was going to stop them from fucking. No more games. This time, he just _wanted_ him.

They collapsed on the couch in a tangle of limbs; Bushido on top of Gustav. Gustav stared up at him and swallowed hard, then cupped the back of his neck and kissed him again, loving the feel of the other man's hot skin pressed against his own, and he couldn't wait to finally see all of him. 

He reached down and undid the buttons of Bushido's trousers, tugging them down; grateful when Bushido helped him get them off. He wasn't surprised that Bushido went commando – he was at home, so why bother with underwear? Gustav never did.

He pushed himself up on his elbows and looked at the other man hungrily, eyes roaming over every inch of Bushido's body. He licked his lips, then looked down when Bushido started undressing _him_ as well. 

It didn't take long for both of them to be naked, and when their bare bodies were finally pressed together, Gustav moaned because nothing had ever felt as amazing as Bushido's heaviness on top of him. He reached up and dug his fingers into Bushido's back, clinging to him as their lips were crushed together for another hard kiss. 

"Please tell me you have lube down here," Gustav managed when the kiss broke and they both gasped for air. He buried his face in Bushido's neck, licking, sucking, biting, marking the other man. 

"'course I do," Bushido murmured against his collarbone, moving his mouth down to lick his nipple and suck it into his mouth. 

Gustav arched up and moaned, grinding his hips against him desperately. He literally whined when Bushido drew back and leaned over to grab a condom and lube he kept in a small basket under the couch. For a moment, Gustav found himself wondering how many sexual partners Bushido actually _had_ that he was this well prepared for sex in the living room – but then he pushed that thought back and focused on here and now. He wasn't one to talk anyway – he had lube stashed pretty much everywhere.

Soon enough, Bushido's lips were back on his body, kissing a trail from his chest up to his chin. Gustav closed his eyes and waited for a kiss – that never came. He furrowed his brow and opened his eyes again, frowning up at him questioningly. 

Bushido looked half-amused, half-thoughtful, and Gustav raised a brow. 

"Does that mean you're going to bottom?" the older man asked after a moment, his voice soft and low and raspy, and Gustav understood. Right. It looked like they had to decide on the position before they actually went there. 

He stared up at him for a moment, and then just wordlessly spread his legs. He didn't even want to think about what it meant that he was suddenly this willing to bottom while he'd never actually considered doing it before. He would have enough time to think about that later – right now, his body wanted what it wanted – and that was Bushido. 

He'd touched himself down there before; when he wanked, he sometimes slipped in a finger or two – and yes, it felt amazing, but he'd never before wanted to know what it felt like to have an actual cock inside of him. 

Now, however, he did. He'd been too proud and stubborn to admit it to himself, but YES, he wanted Bushido to fuck him. Hard. 

He couldn't help it.

To prevent the other man from making any smart-ass comments about this, he cupped the back of his neck and kissed him again, hard, shifting to bring their cocks back in contact, rubbing up against him. He was aware of Bushido squeezing some lube onto his fingers, which soon wrapped around his cock and stroked him. Gustav bit his lip and thrust up into Bushido's palm; it was large and warm and slick, and felt fucking amazing. 

Soon, Bushido's fingers trailed down, cupped his balls and squeezed them lightly. Gustav broke the kiss and threw his head back, moaning softly at the sensation, then bit his lip again when Bushido's fingers moved lower, stroking his crack lightly. 

Gustav clenched. A little. He'd never been touched there by anyone else before. He wasn't afraid it was going to hurt; he just fucking _wanted_ this, but it would still be the first time and his first instinct was to clench. 

He relaxed after a moment, and when he felt the tip of one of Bushido's fingers against his opening, he groaned and pushed down on it, gasping when the slick finger slid inside. He clenched around it, getting used to the feel of it, then moaned when a second one was added just a few seconds later. 

He licked his lips and sucked in a deep breath, glancing down when the older man showered his hips and stomach and thighs with surprisingly gentle kisses. 

Gustav closed his eyes again, sliding his hand down onto Bushido's head, rubbing his short, fuzzy hair lightly and wishing he had something to hold onto. 

He sighed when Bushido pulled out his fingers, and watched, entranced, as the other man rolled the condom over his cock and slicked himself with a generous amount of lube. 

Gustav swallowed hard. This was it. This was the moment he gave it all up for this guy he barely even knew. He'd never before understood how _big_ this moment was for guys who'd never been fucked before, but now he did. It was overwhelming.

He closed his eyes for a second and took a deep breath, then watched Bushido pull one of his legs over his shoulder and position himself. Gustav could feel the head of Bushido's cock pressing against his hole insistently, and one look into Bushido's eyes told him that he wanted this as much as Gustav did. 

He tugged him down for another kiss; a slower, deeper one this time, and sucked in a sharp breath when Bushido suddenly pushed in – all the way, not pausing to let him adjust. When he was settled all the way inside of him, he did wait for a few moments, giving Gustav the time to relax and adjust to the rather impressive length inside him. 

It didn't hurt. He felt stretched to the limit and the sensation was kind of unfamiliar and just _weird_ , but he was okay. What he'd always been worried about while thinking about bottoming, was giving up control and he'd been sure he would feel less powerful. But that wasn't the case at all. Because one look at Bushido's face told him that he _still_ had the power to make the other man feel amazing and make him come undone – even though he wasn't the one on top. 

That realization made him calm down and relax, and he pushed himself up and kissed Bushido gently, slipping his arms around his neck and pulling him close; their bodies pressed flush together. 

It took another moment for him to relax enough for Bushido to move, but when he did, Gustav moaned. Loudly. Because fuck, this felt far more amazing than he'd expected – and Bushido hadn't even hit his prostate yet. He couldn't wait to find out what _that_ would feel like. 

He closed his eyes and soon enough, they found a rhythm that worked for both of them; moving in perfect sync. When Bushido started to thrust harder, slamming into him without holding back, it did hurt a little – but it was a good kind of pain. He reached down and stroked his cock in time with Bushido's thrusts, watching the other man's face as he slammed into him again, again and again. 

"Fuck, look at you," Bushido muttered after a moment, and Gustav looked up at him through his lashes. He couldn't see himself, obviously, but if he looked even only half as turned on as Bushido did right now, it had to be an amazing sight. 

Then Bushido suddenly tried a different angle, and Gustav almost blacked out when his prostate was hit and his whole body arched up as he almost came right then and there. He bit his lip hard when Bushido continued to use that same angle, hitting his sweet spot, as they called it – and he could totally understand why they _did_ – over and over again, making Gustav let out a few astounding sounds that he'd never heard himself make before. 

He stroked his cock harder, knowing he was only seconds away from losing it all – and when he did fall over the edge, he cried out hoarsely, tensing as he came all over his stomach and chest. His inner walls gripped Bushido tightly and it only took about two more thrusts before the other man followed him over the edge and came with an equally loud moan. 

His hips stilled and he pulled out carefully, pulling off the condom and tossing it onto the table. Then he lowered himself on top of Gustav, panting into his neck while Gustav tried to recover from the sheer intensity of that orgasm. 

If he'd known this would feel this fucking GOOD, he would've done it ages ago. But maybe it wouldn't have felt half as amazing with some random guy he'd met in a pub. He was actually pretty sure most of what had made this great, was the man he'd done it with. 

They caught their breaths a few moments later, and Gustav traced one of Bushido's tattoos with a finger, feeling sated and exhausted and kind of overwhelmed. But at least, he wasn't thinking about Tom anymore. The only thing on his mind right now was the man on top of him. 

The silence between them stretched, but after a while, Bushido lifted his head and looked down at him with a small smirk. "Do you want to talk _now_?"

Gustav rolled his eyes and gave him a look, then curled his hand around the back of the other man's neck. "Shut up and kiss me."

Bushido's smirk softened into a smile and he licked his lips. 

"I can do that," he murmured. 

Then he leaned in and their lips met in a surprisingly gentle kiss.


	17. Something New

The next few days were really odd. Not in the technical sense, because nothing extraordinary or weird happened, really, but… Gustav stayed with Bushido. And that in itself was already odd enough. 

After their passionate sex on the first night, they'd fallen asleep together, and Gustav hadn't woken up till the next morning. Waking up to the smell of fresh coffee was the best way to wake up. Bushido had already been awake and had made breakfast for him, which had stunned Gustav into silence.

No one – apart from Gustav's mother – had ever made him breakfast before. It had been kind of nice, and Gustav had shocked himself by wondering if this was what being in a relationship was like. He wouldn't know, considering he'd never been in one. 

After breakfast, they'd watched some TV, gone to the gym and shopping, and it was nice. It was nice to spend time with Bushido and get to know the man a little better. He'd always had a certain opinion of him – rude, all about sex, flaky, and basically kind of an asshole – but during the next few days, he found that Anis actually had a sweet, softer side that Gustav hadn't known about before. It intrigued him.

Now they were on their seventh day together, and Gustav found himself actually getting used to living at Anis's place. He liked not being alone all the time, and even though he felt bad about ignoring his band mates, some time away from him was definitely a good thing at this point. Even though he obviously hadn't asked Anis how he felt about their current living situation, he could tell that the other man seemed to enjoy his company as well. He had a feeling that Anis was the type of guy to tell someone if he wanted them to fuck off. And since he hadn't done that, he had to like him being there. 

That night, after a dinner in front of the TV, Anis leaned over and started kissing his neck. Gustav smiled and slid his hand around the back of Anis's neck, rubbing the soft, fuzzy hair on the back of his head gently. "Do you want something?" he murmured teasingly, his eyes fluttering closed. 

"I thought that was pretty obvious," Anis murmured against his neck, tugging on his earlobe lightly. His tongue brushed the shell of Gustav's ear, and Gustav moaned. Anis's voice made him shiver. "I want to take you upstairs and fuck you, if you don't mind."

Gustav sucked in a breath and shifted a little as his pants got uncomfortably tight. "I can't say I do mind," he murmured and turned his head to look into deep brown eyes. They stared at each other for a long moment; then Anis stood up and took his hand, pulling him up. He led him upstairs and Gustav followed willingly – as if he would ever say no to sex. Honestly…

Anis closed the door behind them, then slid his hands onto Gustav's hips and pulled him closer, kissing him deeply. Gustav fell into the kiss right away, parting his lips and wrapping his arms around Anis's neck. Their tongues tangled for a few long moments; the kiss slow, wet, and perfect; like every other one they'd shared during the past week. Gustav was quickly becoming addicted to the other man's lips.

Then Anis slowly steered him towards the bed, and Gustav let it happen without protest. There was something about Anis that just made him trust him. He knew that was probably the stupidest thing he could do; trusting someone who was a lot like Gustav himself, but he couldn't help it. Maybe it was the sensual kisses, maybe it was the low, reassuring sexiness of Anis's voice, or maybe it was just the fact that he'd gotten to know him so much better over the past few days; he just trusted him. 

He fell onto the bed and proceeded to take his clothes off; not taking his eyes off Anis for even a second. He loved watching the other man undress; his body was gorgeous, and just _looking_ at him was sometimes enough to make Gustav hard. 

He leaned back when he was naked and started stroking his cock, watching the other man. When Anis was naked as well, he crawled on top of him and Gustav moaned when his lips were captured in another long slow kiss; his hand batted away by Anis's larger one as he took over the stroking for Gustav. 

Gustav's hips jerked up and he moaned. 

When Anis let go of him a little while later and got between his legs; slowly grinding against him as they kissed, Gustav spread his legs without another word. He'd come to accept the fact that he loved bottoming for Anis. He wouldn't do it for anyone else, but with Anis, it just felt right. 

He _would_ get the other man to bottom for _him_ at some point, though; that much was clear. Spending time with the rapper hadn't turned him into a complete bottom, and just because he hadn't made the effort of seducing Anis yet, didn't mean he had no plans to do that at some point. 

But for now, Gustav was perfectly happy having the older man between his thighs, and tightened them around his hips, squeezing them and trapping him. He slid his hands up Anis's back, then back down to cup that perfect, muscular ass he'd come to love. 

The kiss broke after a few minutes, and Gustav lost his breath when he looked up into Anis's eyes, and saw something there he hadn't noticed before. He wasn't sure what it was, but it made his stomach flutter and his heart skip a beat, and his whole body felt warm all over. 

He licked his lips slowly, just staring at him for a long moment, until Bushido kissed his way down his body and trailed his tongue down his happy trail. Gustav pushed himself up on his elbows as he watched Anis go down on him, wrapping his mouth around his cock. 

His eyes fluttered closed and he moaned at the hard, perfect suction. Anis could take all of him into his mouth – which was no small feat – and Gustav was sure he'd never get enough of the other man's lips and tongue. Anis truly gave the best blowjobs Gustav had ever had the fortune to experience.

When he drew back, Gustav sighed in disappointment, but spread his legs eagerly when he saw that Anis was already slicking his fingers with lube. He bit his lips when two of them were slid into him right away, and clenched around them, needing this. 

He didn't need much preparation; they'd fucked so often that he was actually a little sore – but rather than make him uncomfortable, it gave him a weird sense of satisfaction to feel the slight pain during the day. It reminded of their sexual escapades all day long.

Anis pulled his fingers out after moving them back and forth for a while, making sure Gustav was stretched and ready for this, and got on top of him, his slick cock rubbing against Gustav's balls and crack, making him clench and twitch in desperation. Bushido had turned him into such a cock-hungry whore, honestly…

When he looked up again, his breath hitched because there it was again – that unreadable expression he'd seen on Anis's face before. He looked up at him and swallowed hard, then reached up and touched Anis's face. A small voice inside his head was telling him what exactly this was, but Gustav chose not to acknowledge it. He wasn't ready to go there. Maybe he never would be. As far as he was concerned, this was mind-blowing sex, and nothing more. 

He gasped when Bushido positioned his cock and slowly pushed in, giving him time to adjust and covering his whole body with his own. Gustav wrapped himself around the other man and stared into his dark eyes, feeling Anis's warm breath on his face. He closed his eyes and sighed, then moaned when he was kissed again. 

It was a soft, light kiss; their lips barely brushing. And when Anis started to move in and out of him, still kissing him that gently, Gustav felt inexplicably emotional. He slid his arms around the other man's neck and held onto him, kissing him back almost desperately as they moved together in perfect sync. Usually, dirty talk played a big part during their sexual activities; but right now, the only sound in the room was their breathy gasps and the soft slapping sound Anis's hips made as they hit his ass. 

They moved together for a long time, exchanging sloppy kisses and gazing deep into each other's eyes. Gustav touched Anis's body, trying to brush every inch of him with his fingers. 

Anis broke the kiss just when Gustav was about to tell him he was close, but when he met Bushido's eyes, he couldn't make a sound because the look he saw reflected in the other man's eyes was pretty much the exact same thing he felt right now. He didn't know what it was – or didn't want to accept what it might be – but it was huge, and made his chest feel tight. 

He arched up against him and gasped, then came a moment later, clenching hard around the other man as he spurted seed all over his stomach and chest. 

He fell against the mattress a moment later, watching Bushido reach his climax as well, sighing when he felt him twitch inside him. Then Anis lowered himself on top of him and Gustav sighed as he wrapped his arms and legs around him, holding him close. 

Usually, this was the time for a cigarette and some nonsensical small talk, but Gustav didn't want that right now. He didn't want to let go of the other man; wanted to keep him inside him for as long as possible, and to feel Anis's warm skin against his own. 

He wanted to close his eyes and just bask in the afterglow of this, but knew that he had a lot of thinking to do. Because right now, he felt downright confused. 

When Anis finally pulled out and rolled onto his back, Gustav took a deep breath and looked over at the other man for a moment, before turning to stare up at the ceiling. 

He didn't say a word as he rolled onto his side, facing away from Bushido, deep in thought. 

He expected the other man to just go to sleep and was surprised when he felt warm arms wrap around him from behind as Anis spooned him. _Spooned_ him. Gustav didn't _spoon_. 

His body was apparently not aware of that fact, however, because he instantly leaned into the touch and tightened Anis's arms around his waist. He closed his eyes and felt a smile tug at the corners of his mouth when he felt Anis's gentle lips brush the back of his neck. 

Without even wanting to, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, falling asleep moments later. 

Thinking could wait until tomorrow.


	18. Back to Life

Gustav woke up early the next morning, still just as confused as the night before – and with Anis still wrapped around him. It was almost as if neither of them had moved at all during the night. 

Gustav stayed in his arms for a while, not daring to move or even breathe for fear of waking the other man up. He just thought that it would be incredibly awkward if they woke up wrapped around each other like this. But after a while, his bladder demanded attention and he carefully disentangled himself from Anis and rolled out of bed. He looked down at Anis, holding his breath when the older man stirred – but fortunately, he only wrapped himself around Gustav's pillow instead, not waking up just yet. 

Gustav released a breath and then went to the bathroom. After peeing and staring at himself in the mirror for a little while, Gustav silently made his way back into the bedroom where he got dressed, careful not to make even the slightest noise.

When he was dressed, he hesitated for a moment, but eventually decided that there was no other way. He had to leave. This was confusing and scary and awkward, and his instincts were telling him to run. 

So he did. 

He got back to his flat a little while later, and looked around when the door fell closed and he was greeted by deathly silence and emptiness. It didn't even feel like home anymore. 

Shaking his head and refusing to give in to the little voice in the back of his mind that told him to go back to Anis right this instant, he made his way into the kitchen and drank some coffee, had some breakfast. Done with that, he went into the living room and sat down, trying to watch some TV, but nothing captured his attention. 

His mind was wandering and always seemed to go back to the night before; the night he really didn't _want_ to think about right now – or ever. When watching TV didn't work, Gustav decided to take a long shower. Maybe a good wank would take his mind off things. 

It didn't.

The first phone call came around eleven, and for the next three hours, both his phones rang almost non-stop. While at first, he stared at the phone whenever it started, he soon gave up on that and went into the sound-proof room in the basement where he kept his drums, and played. He wasn't sure how long he played, but he was soaked with sweat and exhausted by the time he stopped. 

And he felt better – a little, at least. His muscles ached, his heart was racing and he was ready to collapse on his bed and fall asleep. Which was good. When he was asleep, he wouldn't be able to think about how amazing his last night with Anis had been, and the fact that his feelings for the other man might have changed a little over the course of the week he'd spent with him.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Gustav stayed in bed for a week after that. At one point, he tried to go out to fuck some stranger and get over this, but even though he'd found quite a few interested young guys that lived up to his standards, none of them really interested him enough for him to take one of them to the bathroom. 

So he went home again a little while later, returning back to bed.

After a week of just hanging out at home, ignoring phone calls and eating way too much unhealthy food, Gustav realized that he couldn't go on like this forever. He had to face his fears and get his life back under control – last but not least because they had band-stuff coming up, and the boys would kill him if he didn't get his shit together before then. 

So after his first shower in what felt like forever, he decided to check his messages. There were a few from Bill, Georg and his parents, all worried because he'd been ignoring them all for quite a while. Gustav felt guilty, realizing that he'd been a horrible friend lately. He felt a twist in his heart when he realized that there were no messages from Tom, but that wasn't really surprising. He'd fucked up there, and had to find a way to fix it. 

There were also a few messages from Anis, but Gustav ignored those. He couldn't deal with him right now. Not now, maybe not ever.

Always a procrastinator, Gustav decided to wait a little before he tried to get in touch with Tom, and decided that Bill would be the easiest to talk to right now. He drove to Bill's place and rang the doorbell, taking a deep breath as he waited for him to open the door. 

"Gustav!" Bill gasped when he finally opened the door, eyes wide. "Where the _fuck_ have you been? We were worried sick about you!"

Then he threw himself at Gustav and hugged him tightly, burying his face in his neck. Gustav was stunned for a moment but returned the hug when he'd recovered from the shock of not getting punched in the face, holding Bill close and breathing in his familiar scent. 

"I'm sorry," he murmured. "I just… I needed a break from everything, so I left. I'm sorry I ignored your calls and didn't tell you where I was going; I just really needed to get away from everything, you know?"

Bill drew back after a moment, looking at him searchingly. Then he nodded. "Yeah, I understand that," he said softly. "Still – wouldn't have hurt you to at least tell us you were going to leave. You were gone for two weeks, after all!"

Gustav shrugged. "I guess," he said softly. "I just figured you all hated me."

"Why would we hate you?" Bill looked honestly surprised.

Gustav shrugged again. "I don't know… the whole Tom thing maybe?"

Bill bit his lip. "Yeah, I guess. I was mad for a little bit but… really, I'm just glad you're okay. Do you want to come in for a bit?"

Gustav nodded. "Yeah. Sure, that would be great."

He followed Bill into the flat, looking around at the familiar surroundings. Just being around one of his closest friends again felt good, and he gladly accepted the cup of tea Bill offered him. 

"So. You don't want to talk about where you were?" Bill asked when they were sitting in the living room and sipping their tea, still watching him curiously. 

Gustav shook his head. "I'd rather not," he said softly. "But you could tell me what's been happening here, if you'd like…"

At that, a smile tugged on the corners of Bill's lips, which stretched into a wide beam a few seconds later. "I've met someone!" he blurted out then, making Gustav's brows shoot up. "Yes, I know. It happened really fast, but basically, I've met this guy, and his name is Fabian, and he's really sweet, and… I think I'm in love!"

Gustav stared at him, but felt himself smiling as well; Bill's obvious happiness was infectious. "You did? That's amazing, Billi. You'll have to tell me all the details about that sometime."

Bill nodded, still grinning. "I will. Do you want to see a picture?"

Gustav agreed, and for the next hour, he heard all about how perfect Fabian was, and what their first meeting had been like, and their first kiss. Gustav watched Bill as he talked about the guy and had to smile; it was good to see Bill this happy, and this was all Gustav had ever wanted for him. And he'd predicted it, hadn't he? He'd told Bill he would meet the right guy for him soon, and he'd been right. 

He only hoped the guy was actually good enough for Bill. No one really was, but as long as it wasn't a total asshole, Gustav would be okay with it. Besides, Tom had probably already met him and made sure he was good enough. And Bill made him sound like a God, so Gustav had no doubts that Bill had finally found his One. 

When Bill seemed to finally be done talking about his new boyfriend, Gustav nibbled his lip. "So you're not mad at me anymore then?" he asked quietly, wanting to clear this whole thing up.

Bill looked up at him and shook his head. "I'm not. I'm sorry about how I reacted that day; Tom had just told me about the kiss, and I was really confused and felt kind of used, you know? Because it felt like you only slept with me because I look so much like Tom."

Gustav nodded. "That makes sense, but… that wasn't actually what happened, you know? You asked me to take your virginity and since I didn't want some asshole to hurt you, I thought that would be the best option."

Bill nodded. "I know that now. I was just pissed because Tom had literally _just_ told me, and… I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I was part of the reason why you felt the need to just disappear for a couple of weeks."

Gustav shrugged. "It was your reaction, combined with Tom's, and just… major confusion, you know? I've never been in love with anyone before, and I just kind of…"

He paused and sighed. "I don't even know if I _am_ in love with Tom. I mean, I have a thing for him, definitely. I can't deny that. But I'm not sure it's love. But at that moment and after that kiss, I just… it felt like the right time to tell him, but apparently I completely freaked him out. Is he still mad at me?"

Bill nibbled his lip thoughtfully but finally shook his head. "He's not, not really. He was worried about you too. He was – _is_ – confused and he won't really talk to me about the whole thing, but… I know him. He's thinking about this whole thing a lot, so you should really, really try to talk to him. We've got band stuff coming up in a couple of days and it would be good if you solved this thing between you before then."

Gustav took a deep breath and nodded. "I was going to," he said softly. "Do you have any idea where I can find him?"

Bill shrugged. "He was going to the gym earlier but I don't know if he has any other plans. I would suggest you stay here until he gets back, but I kind of have a date tonight, so…"

He grinned again, and Gustav laughed. "Wow, you really _are_ smitten with that guy. When can I meet him?"

Bill smiled. "You're all gonna meet him soon. And you'll love him – he's really great."

"So you've mentioned," Gustav said dryly, making Bill laugh and give him a sheepish smile in return.

After a bit more small talk, Bill practically shoved Gustav out of the flat and Gustav felt relieved because everything had gone so well. He still had a long talk with Tom and Georg ahead of him, but at least one of his three band mates was still his friend, which was good to know. 

Outside the building, he reached for his phone and decided to call Tom right then and there – maybe he was going to be home soon and he'd be able to see him right away. It took three tries before Tom finally picked up, and he sounded a bit out of breath. 

"Yeah, hello?"

Gustav took a breath at the sound of Tom's voice. It had been two weeks since he'd heard it – but he was still surprisingly calm. "Hey Tom, it's me… I don't know if you have time right now, but I'd really like to talk to you, so… just tell me when and where, and I'll be there?"

He nibbled his lip as he waited for Tom's reply. "I… I'm kind of in the middle of something here. I'm at the gym," Tom said. His voice sounded a little odd, but maybe Gustav was just imagining things. Tom continued after a brief pause, "But yeah, I guess we can meet up. Um. In about half an hour at that little café over here?"

Gustav thought for a moment, then remembered that there was a café on the ground floor of the building that the gym was in, and nodded. "Sure, works for me. I'll see you there soon."

He hung up and took a breath, now suddenly nervous. He almost chickened out and wanted to just go back home and hide in his bed for another week – but he knew that wouldn't solve anything. He needed to confront Tom now, whether he wanted to or not. Maybe he wouldn't like what the other boy had to say, but at least he'd finally know why Tom had reacted the way he had that night, and he'd be able to close the Tom chapter once and for all.


	19. Break Up, Make Up

Gustav had been sitting at a table in the back of the café for about ten minutes before Tom finally arrived. When Gustav saw him, his heart skipped a beat, but he wasn't sure if it was because Tom looked so fucking _good_ or just because he was nervous about talking to him. He licked his lips and raised a hand to wave him over, and felt his stomach tighten when Tom saw him and approached him.

He was _so_ not ready for this.

He managed a tight smile when Tom sat down, setting his drink down on the table. "Hey," he said quietly. 

"Hey," Tom said back, looking down at his drink. 

Gustav bit his lip and wondered if this conversation was going to be as awkward and one-sided as their last one when Tom hadn't even been able to really look at him. But after a moment, Tom did look up and met his eyes, and Gustav swallowed hard. 

"I… look, I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I just came from Bill's and talked to him, and he said you've been worried about me too, so… I'm sorry for not calling or letting you guys know I was going to be gone for a while. I just needed a break, after… well, after everything."

Tom nodded, rubbing the back of his neck. "I figured," he said softly. "I get it."

Gustav let out a breath of relief. "Good."

He licked his lips; his mouth was dry, so he reached for his glass and took a few sips. "And about that night…"

Tom interrupted him. "We don't have to talk about that, Gustav, if you don't want to. I'm over it; things aren't gonna be awkward anymore, I promise."

Gustav was taken aback and looked at him. "Oh. They aren't?"

Tom flushed. "I mean, unless… fuck. This is weird. I just…"

He trailed off, and Gustav took a breath. "Okay, let's just get this out of the way, all right? I know this probably makes you uncomfortable but if we don't talk about it, we'll never get back to normal, and that's not an option if we're gonna be in a band together, so… just listen, all right?"

He licked his lips and stared down at his hands for a moment. He actually had no idea what to say, but he needed to get this out, so Tom would have to bear with him, even if he was going to ramble. "I had a crush on you. Or have. I'm not sure how I feel, to be honest. But that night… we kissed. You kissed me back – you can't deny that. And then you looked at me that way, and I just… it looked like you were really enjoying it, so the 'I love you' just slipped out. I'm sorry if it wasn't what you wanted to hear, but to be fair, you kind of did give me a look that suggested you felt the same way about me. But if that wasn't the case, then I'm really sorry, and I promise not to bother you with this whole thing again."

Tom was tracing patterns on the table with his finger and nibbling his lip, and when he looked up, Gustav knew. Tom didn't return his feelings, not even a little. And of course Gustav had known that before – he'd never had much hope of Tom returning his feelings, but the fact that Bill had mentioned that Tom had also been confused for a really long time _had_ ended up giving him a little hope. 

"I'm sorry," Tom said quietly. "I'm sorry I made you think I was interested in you. You know I love you as a friend and that I can't imagine not having you around. These two last weeks were actually really boring without you. And… I have to admit that I enjoyed the kiss. It was weird and new and kind of awesome because, even straight as I am, I can tell you that you're an amazing kisser, but… I'm just not… interested in you that way. I'm sorry, Gustav. I really wish I could tell you something else, but…"

He trailed off, then continued. "I was confused for a long while. Because I loved the kiss so much, I was thinking about this whole thing for a really long time, wondering if I could be with a guy, but in the end, I just… I just don't feel that way about you. I'm sorry."

Gustav took a deep breath and nodded. "Okay."

Tom looked worried. "We'll still be friends, though, right? You're not gonna be a girl about this and delete my number from your phone?"

Gustav rolled his eyes and groaned. "No, Tom, I'm not going to be a "girl" about it, whatever that's supposed to mean."

Tom grinned, looking relieved. "Good. I'm glad to hear that. But seriously, it's not all that surprising you fell in love with me. Considering how hot I am, I'm surprised it took that long for one of you to fall for me. My bet was actually on Georg, but–"

"Oh my god, you're never going to stop making fun of me for this, are you?" Gustav asked as that horrible realization washed over him.

Tom smirked. "Nope. I'm gonna tease you about this forever."

Gustav sighed. He should've expected that. 

When Tom was done teasing him for the moment, he propped his chin up on his hand. "So, where the fuck have you _been_ these two weeks? You just suddenly disappeared – Bill and Georg were going crazy, worrying about you, thinking you'd been kidnapped and murdered or worse."

Gustav took a breath and shrugged. "I just needed some space. You guys were all busy with each other or girlfriends, so I thought no one would even notice if I just disappeared for a while. But it's heart-warming to hear that you all missed me so much."

He grinned, then proceeded to try and get Tom to admit that he actually _had_ missed him. 

And he was relieved. He was relieved that he didn't feel as sad as he'd expected to feel after everything, and that things between him and Tom weren't weird and seemed to be back to normal now. Of course it would've been nice if Tom had told him he was in love with him too – but since Gustav's feelings for him clearly weren't as strong as he'd initially thought, he probably would've ended up fucking things up between them and breaking Tom's heart in the end. 

So really, everything had turned out for the best.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

It was already dark outside when Gustav parked his car in front of Georg's place. He could see that the lights were on in the living room, and Georg's girlfriend's car was nowhere to be seen, which meant he was most likely alone. 

Gustav made his way up to Georg's door, two paper bags with burgers in his hand, and rang the bell. The moment Georg opened it, Gustav started apologizing. "I know you're probably mad at me right now and I'm sorry for ignoring you, but please let me in and let me explain?"

He lowered the bags to reveal his face when Georg didn't attack him or close the door in his face, and met Georg's eyes. 

"I'm sorry, do I know you?" Georg asked dryly, and Gustav couldn't blame him. Ignoring your best friend for two weeks really wasn't a decent thing to do.

"Please?" he tried again, and Georg sighed. 

"Fine. Come in then."

Gustav let out a breath of relief. "Thank you."

In the living room with their food and drinks, Gustav explained why he'd disappeared and that he'd just talked to Bill and Tom. He practically begged Georg for forgiveness, and after a little while, Georg gave in and told him it was all right. 

"But where _were_ you? You weren't at your place – I checked," Georg said after a moment, finishing his last burger and leaning back. 

Gustav felt his cheeks heat up a little and bit his lip. "I was at Bushido's."

"What?" Georg stared at him blankly.

"Bushido," Gustav repeated, licking his lips, his cheeks flushing a little. "I've been… Remember that guy from the hotel lobby? Yeah… that was him."

Georg's eyes were wide and he looked like he was about to start laughing. Or crying. Or both. "You've been screwing _Bushido_?!"

Gustav took a breath. "Look, it wasn't…" He trailed off, then shrugged. "Yeah."

He bit his lip when Georg just kept staring at him; he was apparently having a really hard time wrapping his mind around this, so Gustav took a breath and explained. "It started with some harmless flirting, but he kept insisting, and… okay, I guess I was a little intrigued and turned on, so eventually, I gave in. There was this back and forth for a while where we both played with each other for a bit, and when I wanted to get away, I just… it seemed like the right place to go. So I was at his place for a week."

Georg's hand was shaking a little, so he leaned forward and set his glass down on the table. "You spent a week with Bushido," he repeated slowly. "Are you, like, seeing him now?"

Gustav shook his head. "No."

Georg nibbled his lip thoughtfully. "Why do I get the impression that you're not telling me everything?"

Gustav sighed. "I am telling you everything. We just… kind of hung out for a week, fucked a lot, and it was good. Then I left and spent a week on my own, and here I am. It's nothing, really, don't worry, okay?"

Georg pushed his hair back. "Look, you're telling me you spent a week with Bushido – that can't have been just casual fucking. You must at least enjoy his company to be able to stand him for a whole week – and to be honest, this sounds like more than just a random, casual affair. Do you have feelings for him?"

"I don't know!" Gustav groaned, burying his face in his hands. "That's what I've been trying to figure out, all right? The last time we slept together, it was… it felt more meaningful than the times before, and it was kind of nice. And in the morning, I panicked and just took off, and I've been ignoring his calls ever since, and I just don't know what to do, okay?"

He looked up, half his face still covered by his hands. "I just… I never wanted to fall for anyone, and then the whole Tom thing happened, and Anis – _Bushido_ , I mean – just seemed like an escape; someone I didn't particularly like, whom I could fuck without him expecting anything in return. We're alike, you know? We both like one-night stands and don't want them to turn into anything more. But now I've gotten to know him a little better and I've seen a side of him that is nothing like the person I always thought he was. But it's not like he even feels that way about me. There's no way he wants me to be more than a sort-of friend with benefits. And besides – even if he did return my feelings, I can't date Bushido, of all people. That would just be weird. We're both not relationship people, so even if we did give it a try, it would most likely be a disaster and…"

He shook his head and took a breath. "Can we talk about something else? Please? This whole thing is confusing enough as it is, and I just want to forget about it all and move on. I just want to go back to the way things were before."

Georg bit his lip and nodded. Gustav could tell that Georg had something to say about the whole matter and was grateful that his friend could obviously see that he couldn't talk about this more right now, and relieved when Georg finally changed the subject. 

He was going to stop thinking about this and move on. He really just wanted to go back to his old lifestyle; go out at nights, fuck some random stranger and feel good about it. He'd been doing that for years – it wasn't like a couple of months could suddenly change him completely, right? He would pick up where he'd left off, and soon enough, Bushido would be a distant memory.


	20. Belonging

Gustav decided to put his plan of leaving the past few weeks behind into action about a week later, when he went to one of his favourite clubs to pick up some stranger. He entered the club, had a couple of drinks, and it didn't take too long for him to find someone who had everything he looked for in a guy.

He was gorgeous, a bit of a twink, and was staring at him with a decidedly hungry expression, his interest in him obvious. Gustav held the eye contact for a little while, then smiled slowly when the guy started dancing his way towards him. 

"Hey," the boy said confidently, raising a pierced eyebrow slowly. 

"Hey," Gustav said back quietly, looking the stranger up and down.

They didn't have to exchange more words after that; Gustav finished his drink, set the glass down on the bar and grabbed the guy's arm, dragging him through the crowd and towards the bathroom. There was a line, so they had to wait for a bit, but soon enough, the bathroom was empty and at their disposal. 

Gustav didn't waste any time and slammed the guy into the nearest wall as soon as they were alone. He crushed their lips together in a hard kiss and smiled when he felt the guy's hands all over him right away. He was a pretty good kisser, which was a plus, and when the guy switched their positions and dropped down on his knees in front of Gustav, the latter grinned and closed his eyes, tipping his head back and already semi-hard as the stranger worked on the button and zipper of his trousers. 

This was going to be good. 

Gustav bit his lip and sighed softly when the guy took him into his mouth and sucked hard, working him to full hardness in no time. He was good – obviously had a lot of experience when it came to sucking cock. He knew all the tricks that usually made Gustav's eyes roll into the back of his head. And it wasn't like he didn't enjoy it – but something still felt off about the whole thing. 

He tried to ignore the little voice in the back of his mind that told him _why_ this felt wrong, and tried to focus on the wet heat of the guy's mouth around his cock. He thrust forward a little, trying to clear his mind, but after a while, he came to the realisation that this wasn't going to work.

Instead of getting more into it, Gustav's cock seemed to slowly lose interest, and he felt mortified when he suddenly softened halfway through. He looked down at the guy when he drew back and looked up at him curiously, looking actually a little offended that Gustav had lost his erection while he was trying so hard to pleasure him. 

Gustav stared at the guy for a long moment, then gently pushed him away and stuffed his cock back into his pants, already knowing that this wasn't going to work out.

He swallowed hard as he zipped up and pushed past the guy to make his way to the sink. He leaned against it, staring at himself in the mirror for a long moment before he splashed some water into his face and left the bathroom and club without another look back at the guy who had made such an effort to make him feel good and was now probably very disappointed and pissed off. 

Gustav didn't really give a fuck.

He walked around for a bit after leaving the heat of the club, hoping the fresh air would help him clear his head and figure out what had just happened. He'd never gone soft during sex before, and part of him felt like a failure. The other, smarter part of him, however, knew exactly what was going on, yet refused to accept that explanation for now.

Gustav made his way back to his car a little while later and got into it. He drove around for a bit, not focusing on where he was going; just enjoying the ride. Driving always relaxed him, and this time was no exception. 

He was surprised, yet not really, when he finally stopped the car in a street that he'd come to know rather well. He looked up at the house for a long moment, then leaned forward and pressed his forehead against the wheel. He was still fighting the obvious solution to the situation he currently found himself in, but knew he wasn't going to last much longer; sooner or later, he would have to give in and just accept what had been staring him in the face for weeks now.

When he finally got out of the car, he still hadn't fully processed everything he'd just figured out, but eventually just gave up on fighting what his head and heart had been trying to tell him for such a long time now. He hesitated before he rang the doorbell, keeping his eyes on his feet as he waited for it to open. 

When it did, he looked up into Anis's eyes and didn't know what to say. Maybe there _was_ nothing to say, and Anis seemed to realise that, as he stepped aside and let him into the house after only a couple of seconds. Gustav went inside and leaned against the wall as he waited for Anis to close the door and turn to look at him. 

He didn't meet his eyes, keeping his gaze on the floor and shivering a little when Anis closed the distance between them and stepped in front of him. He soon felt warm fingers on his chin and opened his eyes when Anis tilted his chin up, forcing him to look at him. 

Gustav knew he probably looked tired and defeated. He closed his eyes briefly and leaned into the touch when Anis cupped his cheek in one large hand, then tilted his face up and let out a soft sigh when Anis' lips brushed his own and he kissed him deeply. 

He couldn't help realising how right this felt. He couldn't ignore it anymore. This was where he belonged, and there was no point in fighting it any longer. Anis made him happy; fulfilled him sexually and in every other way, and he would just be stupid if he didn't acknowledge it. 

After a moment, he wrapped his arms around the taller man's neck and kissed him back heatedly, pouring every emotion he'd been trying to hold back into that single kiss. 

Anis slid his arms around him and cupped his ass, picking him up easily and carrying him to his bedroom. He laid him down on the bed and got on top of him, kissing him again. 

What followed was the most eye-opening sex Gustav had ever experienced; better even than their last night together. It wasn't only passionate and physically pleasing, but emotional and – fuck, almost loving. They stared into each other's eyes a lot, exchanged deep, slow kisses that made Gustav's stomach flutter and his toes curl. The orgasm was fulfilling in a way nothing had ever been before.

When he was spent, Anis slid off him and rolled onto his back beside him, breathing heavily. Gustav stared up at the ceiling and swallowed hard, still trying to fight that annoying urge to be close to Anis for a little while. But eventually, he rolled over and snuggled – _snuggled_ – into the older man, resting his head on Anis' shoulder. He closed his eyes and snaked an arm around the other man's waist as both of them caught their breaths. 

They hadn't exchanged a single word since Gustav had appeared at Anis' door but Gustav knew it was time to break the silence and talk about what was going on here. He still wasn't entirely prepared when Anis did say something, finally.

"Am I going to wake up alone again?" he asked quietly, running his fingers through Gustav's short hair and pressing a lazy kiss to his forehead. Gustav leaned into the touch, humming contentedly. He raised his eyes to Anis' and bit his lip, then finally shook his head. 

"No," he said softly. "I'm here now."

"I know you're here _now_ ," Anis said, looking down at him thoughtfully. "But are you still going to be around tomorrow? Or the day after that? Or are you going to disappear again and ignore my phone calls for weeks? Because eventually, I'm going to give up on following you around, you know? I think we both know what's happening here, and if you're not up for it, then… I'm going to spare myself the pain and just stay away from you."

Gustav shook his head, sighing softly. He knew Anis was right. "I'm sorry. I just… wasn't ready to…"

He trailed off, and Anis understood. Gustav could tell. Anis had probably been through the same thing in the past weeks. "But I'm here now," Gustav finished. "And I'm not going anywhere."

Anis looked at him calculatingly for a long moment, and finally nodded. "Okay. Promise?"

Gustav smiled a little and nodded. "Yeah. I promise."

A smile tugged on the corners of Anis' lips as he pulled Gustav on top of him and pressed a deep, passionate kiss to his lips. When he drew back, they looked into each other's eyes for a long moment, and under different circumstances, Gustav would've cringed at the sappiness of it all. But for some reason, it didn't feel awkward.

"I've become rather attached to you," Anis murmured softly and Gustav groaned, burying his face in Anis' neck. 

"Please, don't. Don't get sappy on me now. We really don't need to talk about this," he muttered, making Anis laugh. 

"Didn't think I'd ever meet someone who's even less romantic than I am," he chuckled. "But all right. Let's not talk about it. Let's just take it one step at a time."

Gustav nodded, slipping his arms under Anis and holding him close as he pressed light kisses to his neck and breathed him in. Anis wrapped his arms around him as well, stroking his back slowly, and in that moment, Gustav knew he'd done the right thing; made the right decision.

Part of him was still frustrated that he'd changed so much over the course of only a few weeks and that he'd ended up falling for someone he never would've thought he'd ever have any feelings for, except maybe repulsion. 

But the thing was – he trusted Anis. He trusted him more than just about anyone in his life, and he wasn't even sure _why_ ; he just did. And it didn't matter how unlikely their… well, _relationship_ was – in the end, Gustav had followed his heart and it had led him here, into Anis' arms where he felt welcome and wanted in a way he never had before. He could tell that he just belonged here, whether he wanted to or not. 

He knew he would find himself missing his slutty lifestyle from before every once in a while but a part of him was actually happy to discover that he wasn't dysfunctional or missing the 'love' gene. He was kind of glad to finally know that he _was_ able to feel genuine affection for someone, even if that someone was this stupid rapper.

Because that was what this was – affection, maybe even more than that. He could deny it all he wanted, but in the end, he'd fallen for Bushido, of all people, and there was nothing he could do about it.


	21. Epilogue

The next weeks were busy but Gustav found that he actually wasn't as bad at relationships as he'd initially thought. In fact, things were working out rather well. He and Anis didn't spend as much time together as they wanted, maybe, because they both had a rather full schedule and couldn't see each other every day – but Gustav found that that was actually a good thing because it made the moments they _did_ spend together even better. 

The sex was still mind-blowing and so diverse that Gustav was never tempted to go out and find some other guy to fuck. That's what he'd been a little worried about, at first – that he'd get bored and that he'd have the urge to sleep with other people. But Anis really was the best sexual partner he'd ever had, and always left him wanting more. He would never get tired of him, he knew. 

After a couple of weeks, all three of his band mates knew he was seeing someone. When Bill found out who it was, he was strangely happy for Gustav and didn't even question his choice the way Georg had at first. It had taken a while, but eventually Georg had come to grudgingly accept that Gustav was happy and that Anis' intentions were pure and had given them his blessing, basically. And maybe it was the fact that Bill was head over heels in love with his own guy that made him so accepting, but either way, Gustav was glad that he had his friends' support. 

Tom was the last one to find out, and the look of shock on his face would forever be imprinted on Gustav's brain. He literally laughed when he saw Tom's expression. 

" _Bushido?_ " Tom squeaked, staring at Gustav as if he'd completely lost his mind. "You're fucking – no, wait, _seeing_ Bushido? Dating him? As in, holding hands, gazing into each other's eyes, kissing and stuff?"

"Yes," Gustav said back, smirking a little because Tom's outrage was comical rather than offending. 

"But… how? Why? I don't understand."

Gustav shrugged. "You don't have to understand it – I just wanted you to know. I'm happy with the way things are right now, so I hope you can ignore your dislike for him and be supportive."

Tom looked from Bill to Georg who both shrugged at him, then turned back to look at Gustav and shook his head. "Of course I'm going to be supportive if you're happy, dude, but don’t expect me to understand it. And above all – don't expect me to stop making fun of him, because I don't think I can."

Gustav laughed, shaking his head. "I don't care. Hell, _I_ make fun of him occasionally, so whatever. Whatever makes you happy, Tom."

Tom looked satisfied with that and nodded. "All right then."

He was silent for a moment, then shook his head. "Bushido. Honestly, Gustav."

He grinned suddenly, and Gustav groaned because he knew exactly what was coming now – and of course Tom didn't disappoint. 

"All I can say is that your taste in guys is getting worse. Like, I approve of you falling for me cause I'm perfect, but now Bushido? Definite downgrade, dude, that's all I'm saying."


End file.
